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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Cosmo Kama Sutra

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Sterling Publishing
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Noting that our very own lil’ student run paper, the MASS Media, lacked a necessary bit of literary snobbishness, we’ve decided that what our humble publication needed was a book review. Unfortunately, my weekly schedule is too darn packed already with school work, what with reading online Cliff Notes, watching movie adaptations of classic literary works, and what-not, that I just simply do not have the time to devote to any further outside reading.

And at just my point of greatest defeat, what should appear on my desk for review but a sign of magnificent salvation in the form of a book filled from cover to shining cover with glorious full-page color illustrations. And not just any illustrations, this is the Kama Sutra we’re dealing with here, so that means illustrations of people-getting it on! Well, obviously, there can be only ONE way to properly review a book like this: cold-alone-in your room-with a jar of mayonnaise. Okay, so maybe there are a few ways, but, sometimes, resources are limited and we have to make do. The Kama Sutra, originally an ancient Sanskrit text written sometime between the first and sixth century AD by an Indian scholar named Vatsyayana, has thus been reappropriated and then bastardized by the good people over at Cosmopolitan Magazine. Some people may find this to be completely insensitive to the original text of ancient Eastern wisdom, and this is probably completely true.

But, admittedly this is what we Americans do best; we take a deeply involving practice of Eastern philosophy, condense it, edit it, repackage it, add some bling, and there! It’s now ready for mass consumption. Yoga is a physical and mental practice that unifies mind, body, and spirit? Puttccsh, just add some hip-hop and fill it with steam, now that’s what the people really want.

So it is to this end that one can say with a degree of certainty that positions such as the Twirl-a-Girl or the Diamond in the Buff somehow did not make their way into the original Sanskrit text. But this is the Kama Sutra 2004, so it’s like, whatever.

The Cosmo Kama Sutra follows a simple and easy to follow formula: funny title, a diagram of the sex act, erotic instructions, an explanation of why you’ll love it (the “you” referred to here is expected to be a female, as is the target audience), an insightful hint, and a carnal challenge meter.

How exactly the carnal challenge meter works is not fully explained but I’m assuming it rates the position’s level of difficulty and dexterity required, but since only two positions in the whole book are given a rating below three flames it seems like its more made to boost moral. The positions range from insightful, to kinky, to just plain questionable, considering the limitations placed on the human race by the laws of physics. Chances are that this book will probably fail to make it very far off your coffee table where you and your girlfriends will snicker at it while eating bon-bons. If this book fails to accomplish anything, it still, at the very least, manages to provide an outlet for open sexual communication. When it finally comes down to it, bending your girlfriend over the jungle gym may or may not be your cup of tea, but the simple act of sexual expression-talking about how what each of you like, dislike, or just simple observations on the subject of S-E-X, with the other person in your relationship, will provide immeasurable benefits to developing that relationship, sexual or otherwise.

Sex shouldn’t have to be that unspeakable act that you do, coincidently, inside of someone else. Talking about sex and reading this type of book together, helps to relieve some of the tension that-um… I think it was a combination of Jesus and your grandparents-have probably placed there. So get this book, get nak

About the Contributor
Denez McAdoo served as the following positions at The Mass Media for the following years: Arts Editor: Spring 2005; Fall 2005 Editor-in-Chief: Spring 2006; 2006-2007