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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

A Singing Elvis and a Three-Breasted Woman

UMB students fall under the spell of R-rated hypnotist Frank Santos. - Photos by Mimi Yeh
UMB students fall under the spell of R-rated hypnotist Frank Santos. – Photos by Mimi Yeh

R-rated hypnotist Frank Santos graced the new Campus Center Ballroom with his presence last Wednesday, March 31. Santos gathered as many volunteers from the UMB community as he could find. Some people were eager and some were reluctant, but regardless, Santos ended up with a stage full of volunteers.

The volunteers’ hypnotism ability was tested and if one “passed,” he or she could move on to the next round. The UMB volunteers were lined up and told to close their eyes. Santos counted backward from ten while soft mesmerizing music played on the loud speaker. Once told to open their eyes, he pushed the volunteers lightly and if they fell forward, they could become hypnotized. Some did not fall forward and were sent back to their seat.

While Santos didn’t have much luck with the majority of UMB students’ hypnotism ability, he wound up with four volunteers and after a short while only two. Using his professional ability and good humor, Santos made these volunteers, a man and a woman, do and say outrageous things.

Santos had the four participants close their eyes and each time they did, he would count backward from ten. He told them that when they opened their eyes, he would have laughing gas. One of the male volunteers found it impossible to stop laughing when Santos told him about the magic laughing gas he had. The audience, in turn, found this quite humorous.

At one point during the show, Santos called up a member of the audience to the stage. He placed her in front of the volunteers. “When I say open your eyes, the girl standing in front of you will have three boobies!” Santos exclaimed. The audience roared, especially when Laughing Gas Man opened his eyes to the three-breasted woman and quickly turned away.

Laughing Gas Man could easily be named the star of the show. He not only witnessed a flying saucer outside of the Campus Center, he also sang Elvis Presley’s “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog.” The other remaining volunteer, a woman, believed LGM when he reported he saw a flying saucer outside after Santos told him it would be there when he opened his eyes. She also dug LGM’s version of Presley’s song as she danced in her chair.

All in all, the audience found Santos’s performance hilarious, but definitely on account of LGM. Santos is part of the Comedy Connection and performs his R-rated show every Thursday night.