At the University of Massachusetts Boston, nothing is fair, including days off. Sophomore poli-sci major Ryan “Seal Cub” Shillelagh, who only takes classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, expressed his distress to the Mass Media: “It’s like the world is against us, man. Whoever made the calender like purposely made it so that those Monday-Wednesday-Friday (MWF) hackies could get more days off.”
His girlfriend, Brenda “Shawshank” Redemption, agreed. “Those snow days, too!” she huffed. “They wait until the weekend is over and BAM! ‘Oh, looks like another snow day on Monday.’ Those weathermen have it in for us Toothers (read: TuTh-goers). Fuckin’ cloud-whisperers.”
UMass Boston experienced its first-ever snow emergency on Thursday, Feb. 13 — a day to go down in university history. Students’ cheers echoed through the halls of Wheatley, McCormack, and the Science building as e-mails were checked at 11 a.m. Thursday morning.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Shillelagh who, coincidentally, was in a “Weather and Climate” class when he got the e-mail from the UMass Boston Alert System. “I’ve never, like, had a snow day before. It’s obviously because of global warming and climate change; instead of snow days falling on MWF now, they’ll fall on TuTh! Thank God for Al Gore.”