Have you got a burning question for ‘Cat and ‘Chester? Send an e-mail to [email protected].   Your privacy is guaranteed. Suggestions for Getting Rid of Those Pesky Thanksgiving Leftovers Another Thanksgiving is behind us, and chances are that, like me, you’ve got some pumpkin pie left over.  If you have roommates, they might be coming home with some too, and your refrigerator has suddenly started to look like you’re planning to survive another World War.  Don’t worry if you stuffed your face all last week and aren’t feeling very frisky, here’s something that will put you-and hopefully your partner-in the mood. It’s also a fun way to get rid of those pesky leftovers, before you have to donate them to the Biology department for experimentation. If you don’t yet know this yet (and you really should), scent is linked to arousal.         Recent studies suggest that pumpkin pie may increase sexual arousal in both men and women, although the effect is significantly higher in men. Apparently, another scent that works is cranberries.  While I can’t recommend smothering  yourself in pumpkin pie and whipped cream, or taking a bath in the leftover cranberry sauce, unless of course you’re into that, once the family has left, think about preparing a romantic dinner for two using your leftover Thanksgiving fixings.  You can even have your dinner by candlelight-using pumpkin and cranberry scented candles, of course. If you’ve flown back to Boston without your significant other, there’s always the phone…just make sure that he/she has a few leftovers of his/her own.  And if you’re single, prepare a nice evening of self-love.  Mama always said that you can’t expect someone to always treat you, so sometimes you’ve just got to treat yourself.  And just think how much easier clean-up will be. Happy Holidays, Lovechester   Dear UMBeMine: Don’t we talk about sex enough?  Sex, sex, sex.  Your column is just feeding the obsession that America has with sex and furthering the stereotype that all college kids do is drink, do drugs, and have sex. Can’t we talk about something else besides sex for once? How about love? Abstinence and marriage? Personal responsibility? Chaste in East Cambridge Wicked Pussycat: Hrrm…if you think we talk about sex too much, maybe you should ask yourself why you don’t?  Do you have something against sex?  Some people do think about sex and act on their impulses too much, but a bigger problem is that people don’t talk about sex in a healthy, positive way enough.  ‘Chester and I aren’t here to further stereotypes; read our disclaimer.  But if you think that college kids don’t have sex, drink, and do drugs, than you may want to trade in your rock for an apartment. A one bedroom.  People, particularly young people, are going to have relationships and have sex. If that’s what goes on, isn’t it better that we’re here to help? Lovechester: I agree with ‘Cat. We don’t spend enough time talking about sex, when to have it, and when NOT to have it.  The irony is that the shame and lack of communication about sex, and sexual ethics, does more to feed America’s obsession than all the advice columnists put together; in our country, it goes back to Puritan times (go read the Scarlet Letter!) We’re not here to tell you all to go out and shag yourselves rotten.  Although we will have an opinion on whether or not we think it’s a good idea in whatever situations you e-mail us.  Certainly, the things you talk about are important-abstinence, marriage, responsibility.  But so is sex and conversation about sex: safe sex for just plain good times, safe sex as an expression of love, or safe sex for personal fulfillment… not just for procreation. Dear UMBeMine: So I’ve been invited to go on vacation to Disney with a friend of mine.  I’ve never been there. The thing is that we tried to date before and it didn’t work out so well… she just couldn’t commit, and I couldn’t wait forever.  I’m still attracted to her and I’d love to go to Disney with her, I think we’d have a great time, but I don’t want to put myself in a bad position.  Should I say no? Needs a Break in Somerville Wicked Pussycat: Sweetie, you have to ask yourself some questions before you decide whether or not to go on this trip. Are you expecting something out of it? Is she? Do you think she’ll want to get back together? Do you think she’ll just want to hook up for the trip? What about you? Do you think you’ll want to try and get back with her? Just hook up with her? If that’s all she wants and you want more, will you be able to handle that? If you do decide to go on this trip, you cannot go expecting anything to happen. I’m not saying it won’t…after all, she did invite you on a major trip. But going in expecting something to happen will ruin the entire trip for you. If you think you can go without expectations then go ahead. If you think that you’ll be anxious the whole time, wondering if she’s flirting or just being a friend, then it’s probably better for you to stay home. Lovechester: You should absolutely go on this trip.  But make sure you either buy separate tickets and switch seats with someone on the plane or at least get the money upfront before putting the tix on either one of your cards.  It sounds like, for whatever reason, this girl has some commitment issues, and she might bail on you and this trip again.  But if she doesn’t, go and have a good (safe!) time.  But leave your expectations at home and just enjoy being with a friend at Disney. Disclaimer: Neither of us has any formal training or licensure as psychotherapists; we don’t claim to be one or substitute as one.  (If you need professional help, please go get it.)  If, however, you want to hear how two open-minded, plain-speaking students (who’ve been around a few blocks and have ready ears and shoulders) might approach a given sex or relationship circumstance, you’ve come to the right place.