Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus/ Publisher: Square Enix / System: PS2 / $49.99/ ESRB: T (Teen)

Testing, 1, 2, Check one, check; Ladies and gentlemen, and everyone else to whom those two categories do not apply, welcome to the beginning of another semester of The Videogame Connoisseur. I promise to make this the biggest, bestest, and wittiest semester of The Videogame Connoisseur yet or lose all my extra lives trying. I’ll be trying a few new things and pimping a few old games and I guarantee* y-ou wont be disappointed.

Now that the introduction is over lets get off to a good start with Square Enix’s latest offering: Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus. First of all I am totally against sequels to Final Fantasy games, X-2 was reason enough never to do it again. My main argument is that each Final Fantasy chronicles an event in a different world., Why revisit it; move on and let the fans interpret what happens next after the ambiguous ending. Second retconning is bound to rear its ugly head, and we all know retconning was the second sin.

A little off topic, but is it me or is it impossible to shop at Gamestop without being harassed to pre-order something? Every time I pre-order a game it gets pushed back a year or more: cough::LegendofZelda:TwilightPrincess::cough::FF7:

Dirge of Cerberus picks up three years after FF7 and focuses on the first game’s two optional characters. These bit players with no impact on the original plot finally get their time. You play Vincent Valentine, a man who: watched the woman he loved take part in an experiment which literally birthed the villain of FF7, was then shot, experimented on, and slept in a coffin for 30 years. Three years later, Vincent is called to Kalm by Reeve, a somewhat minor character who controlled one of the main characters, Cait Sith, a bipedal cat doll who wears a cape and boots and talks in a Scottish accent. While in Kalm a military group, Deepground, invades and kidnaps people. They were a race of genetically engineered super soldiers who were made by Shin-Ra, a villainous power company much like Haliburton. Apparently Shin-Ra forgot all about Deepground, who was then released from underground containment when a giant meteor nearly destroyed the planet at the end of FF7. Vincent’s previous love, Dr. Lucrezia Crescent, has some connection to Deepground, as does Vincent.

That’s pretty much sums up the first quarter of the game. While visually stunning the game has faults. You have very little option as to what to do or where to go next, most of the time you run down a preconceived route and shoot anything that pops up. The controls are very much like Devil May Cry. The real treat in Dirge of Cerberus comes from weapon customization. Each gun consists of 5 parts: frame, the barrel, scope, option, and accessory. Using these pieces you can make a near endless number of guns. basic types of frame: handgun, rifle, and machine gun). Also you can upgrade the various components to increase range and ammo capacity or equip optional pieces to the option slot that do things such as reduce the gun’s weight or increase damage.

Dirge of Cerberus is not the best game I’ve ever played (that’s a whole ‘nother article) but it’s far from the worst. People looking for casual gameplay will probably be turned off by Dirge of Cerberus. Hardcore FF7 fans, and there are quite a few, will love it. From cameos by favorite characters to revisiting locations from the original FF7 such as Shin-Ra Manor, there is more than enough to make such fans happy.

*Guarantee not valid after 9/5/06