Another new semester here at UMass Boston, which of course means more dirty secrets from me to you. The biggest secret of all is the elusive “Big O”. Some say that the orgasms are like mythical creatures. Here must disagree, so I’d like to take you through the missing pieces of the “Big O”.

Discovery Health describes and orgasm as, “Orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation. Orgasm is also in part a psychological experience of pleasure and abandon, when the mind is focused solely on the personal experience.” (http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/orgasm.html) In short, you don’t have to ejaculate, but if do it feels really great and it’s intense and then you are spent. Some of it is pleasure from your body and some of it is all in your head (no, really)! Men, women, and the rest of you are capable of orgasm. Though all orgasms don’t look or feel the same. Some can ejaculate (yes, even women, who knew), others can feel physical and emotional effects. Sometimes orgasms are fierce and explosive, some are smaller and more subtle. Some people have one huge orgasm and others have many little orgasms. It depends on things such as mood, health, relationship with partners.

Abstinence makes for a great build up of sexual energy. Taunting, teasing… Foreplay is great for a delishiesh orgasm. It builds the tension, increases the blood flow to these incredibly sexy parts, speeds respiration, and makes those tight contractions stronger and longer. Orgasms are about the whole body, all these things from breathing to heart rate, sensation, and mind power all go into making a better more awesome orgasm.

Some people forget that the mind is the other big organ involved in the “Big O”. First of all, if you get a man relaxed his testosterone levels will increase. Get your minds away from all your stress and daily troubles and relax and focus on your sexual endeavors. Secondly, spice things up and try something new and unexpected. Gets the blood pumping. Take the upper hand if you are usually more of submissive person, wear something scandalous or that you know will turn your lover on and on and on.

While there is actually little difference between male and female orgasms, the only major one is that our recovery time is a bit quicker than it is for you guys. Men can have orgasm from milking the prostate which should only be done to a healthy prostate. It involves applying pressure to the prostate with the fingers with just as much pressure as you’d use to rub your eyes. The prostate is the male “g-spot”. And don’t forget the female “g-spot”. A “g-spot” orgasm is a different feeling than a vaginal or clit orgasm and cause female ejaculation which is always a good wet time! Some women just come from clit stimulation, some from vaginal, some need both, try it out.

So go play and try the fun little game of how many orgasms can you have and how long or big can they get, you won’t be disappointed, you’ll be getting laid! And have fun, because if you’re not having fun then it’s not good sex!