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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

11/27/23 pdf
November 27, 2023

Why Do We Still Celebrate Columbus Day?

Christopher Columbus

Italy has given the world some of its most polarizing and provocative figures, spanning from ancient Roman Emperors to Mafiosi crime bosses, and including Marco Polo. However, none of these figures have been more controversial than the famous explorer and colonizer Christopher Columbus.

Columbus was, for all intents and purposes, the first terrorist to ever step foot on American soil. His blind ambition, or maybe his vast capacity for cruelty, perpetuated the unjust slavery and murder of more than 10 million indigenous Americans in the late 1400s.

So why is it that we continue to celebrate this mass murderer, 511 years after his death? Makes no sense to me; never has, never will. My father was born in Haiti, and for those of you who don’t know, Haiti was established as a settlement of the Kingdom of Spain, known as “Hispaniola.” And this settlement was governed in the name of king so-so and queen whoever-the-hell by Columbus.

Now I’m sure you all know the story, but in case your memory is a little hazy, I’ll explain. In 1492, a short, pot-bellied Italian dude and his Spanish-speaking buddies, known as the Conquistadors, landed on the soil of the so-called “New World.” They brought an arsenal of weapons, fancy clothing, diseases, and zero hand sanitizer; these guys were the original American Gangsters. Sorry Denzel.

Now I don’t know about you, but if I were a fifteenth century Native American, I would have rebelled against these imperialists, Haitian Revolution-style. The ungodly atrocities that transpired after Hispaniola (Haiti and Dominican Republic) was created and tyrannized by Columbus and his “gangsters” was a tragedy we should be so lucky to never see again.

It has been 80 years since the US federalized a whole day in honor of Columbus (aka Christopher the Cruel). What reason did they—the US Government—have to do this? Was it to alienate indigenous Americans even more? If so, mission accomplished. It begs one to wonder, if not question, the morality and/or the sanity of the “ruling class” of America in the early twentieth century.

They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result. How many times can you visit the injustice and mistreatment on an entire people before realizing they are not going anywhere? Nor should they. I mean, they’re the only real Americans in this country; they were back then and they are still. That will not change, no matter how many access pipelines they drill into the Earth.

Indigenous people have been wronged a thousand times over by men in uniform armed with guns as much as, if not more than, by men in suits armed with the Constitution and political clout. However, the overeager trigger-happy soldiers and the lying fools in Washington pale drastically in comparison to the wickedness and barbarity of Columbus.

How many times can one abuse someone, or an entire people, until they finally pick up a stick bigger than their abusers? That plot twist in the great American story remains to be seen. However, I’m pretty sure federalizing a holiday in honor of the butcher of hundreds of thousands of indigenous people is a colossally bad move. Just saying.
So if and when they do find a big enough stick, you can rest assured that I’ll be here to tell you, “Stupid America. I told you so.”