Public sex is a common fantasy and is often enacted despite the possible consequences. There are a few typical settings that are on the top of everybody’s public sex checklist: in the library, the park, an elevator, your workplace, on public transit, and if you’re really daring maybe even in a classroom. Keep in mind when looking for adventure it’s not only about where you do it, it’s also about with whom. Let me share my experience.

I can cross off sex in the stacks and sex at work (pause for applause). I work at and close the library so CHECK! But not so fast boys and girls, my experience was not all it’s cracked up to be.

My boy, although normally a good choice, had a severe case of stage fright. He was more nervous with his pants off than a Mexican in Arizona (no offense to anyone except maybe the xenophobes out west). He was clearly far more scared of getting caught by the wandering grad student doing research than he was aroused.

While my boy toy was having trouble getting it up, I was lying restless and wondering when I could put my skirt back down. Let’s just say my time could have been better spent inseminating ovulating cows than staying where I was. What a way to rain on my parade. What’s more, I’m sure he brags about the deed, conveniently leaving out his short-cumings.

On a higher note, my girl Sarah had a great romp at center field with the lights on, and a couple of sports fans in the bleachers, lucky B. But that’s because she chose her partner well.

My word of advice then is to either get it on with your exclusive and not-so-shy man or woman, or choose someone a lot more outgoing than you because the chances here might be better than going with the person who is a bit more on edge. You don’t want to add a sour ending to your success story. And of course, wrap it up [insert cheesy winky-face-condom character here].

Have a topic you’d like to read about, an idea for the author or a question about sex you’d like answered? Email Lee Rosebottom at [email protected] with your ideas!