They say traveling is a form of learning. That is an understatement, especially when it comes to traveling to countries like Afghanistan, with only one role in the mainstream media: a war zone.
Although I was brought up in an Afghan family with Afghan and Muslim values, it is still a different experience to be living in Afghanistan, even if it’s just for a month.
There are a lot of differences one notices as they come to Afghanistan from a country like the United States or Russia.
While in the U.S., the idea of private space or an understanding among people that they’re complete strangers and should not get too comfortable with each other is well established and practiced. In Afghanistan, it’s almost the exact opposite. The way people interact is much more intimate. Everyone calls one another brother, sister, mother, uncle, and aunt, even if it is their first time meeting each other. If you walk into a shop during lunchtime, the shopkeeper will immediately offer you food and a place to sit, treating you as if they have known you for years.
Going to family dinners is also a very special, yet common, experience. Afghan hospitality is one-of-a-kind, and I’m not saying this because I am an Afghan, but because I have been to several countries and know people from all over the world. In Afghanistan, the youngest members of the host family bring water in an “aftawa lagan,” a water vessel with a big round dish for the guests to wash their hands before the meal. Most of the time they bring it with soap on the side and mini towels for the guests to dry their hands.
It is very hard to keep those hands clean throughout the meal because Afghan cuisine is extremely delicious and many people eat with their hands. Afghan food is a mixture of South and Central Asian cuisines, which is what makes it so unique. It is not spicy, however most dishes are prepared with a variety of spices and herbs like cardamom, cinnamon, saffron, bay leaves, mint, and cilantro. Some of the main dishes are Palaw, Mantu, Bamya, Broni among many others. You can try these dishes at local Boston restaurants like Ariana and Helmand.
Sightseeing around the city is quite the experience. Though the country has been through three decades of war and lost many of its historical treasures, continuous foreign support and Afghans’ dedication to restoring their historical sites has led to significant progress in rebuilding the country. For example, the site of Mawlana, Jalaludin Balkhi’s (Rumi) birthplace, which was destroyed by the series of wars, is currently going through restorations with the help of the Turkish government. Some historical sites were lucky to avoid the bullets and rockets of warfare and still look as good as they did before and during the wars. One such site is the Taq-e Zafar, which commemorates the defeat of the British in 1919, and another is the Rawze-e-Sharif mosque in the northern city of Mazar-e-Sharif.
Going through the war and conflict timeline, one can also see a constant change in the role of women in Afghanistan. Since 2001, officials of the United States government have claimed that one of the main reasons behind going to war in Afghanistan was to liberate the women. Although I agree that, at the time of the Taliban regime, women were treated as if they weren’t human, one has to keep in mind that it was a regime with a lot of foreign influence and political agenda that forced those anti-women ways on the people of Afghanistan. Looking back in history, during the 1960s, Afghan women had equal rights as men.
Now, almost 16 years after the Taliban era, life for women in Afghanistan looks quite different. In most food places, there are usually separate sections for men and families, which includes couples or a group of women having a girl’s night out. Some could see this as exclusion of women, but women in Islamic countries are very comfortable with this system. In fact, they might just say the opposite: that it is the single men who are outcasts due to their inability to behave around women. In addition, at the airports or other public places, where people usually have to stand in line, the authorities allow women and children to go first, which is something that is completely absent in the West.
In the shopping malls and bazaars, female customers are often referred to as cousins or sisters so women feel comfortable and respected. Some of the Afghan girls and women would even go as far as to say that women in Afghanistan have more rights than those abroad. My cousin told me, “While in the West, people assume that Afghan women are oppressed, I think in Afghanistan, women might have more privileges than they do. For example, here you won’t find a lot of women doing hard labor work like they do in the West. And men, on the other hand, have to work extra hard here because their money goes to support their whole family, as opposed to just themselves.”
All of this can definitely be interpreted as looking down upon women or seeing them as the weak species, incapable of opening the door for themselves or waiting in line, but most Afghan women seem to be happy with these privileges.
There is still a lot to be learned about Afghan culture, traditions and way of life, just like of any other distant country, however going one step beyond what we see on the mainstream media makes us realize that things might not be all that bad.
This mosque's name is Rawze-e-Sharif, which translates to "Shrine of Ali". Some Afghans believe that Ali ibn Abi Talib, the cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet Muhammad was brought there by a white camel to save his remains from desecration by his enemies. It is located in the northern city of Mazar-e-Sharif in Afghanistan.