COMPILED BY CEDRIC MARTIN

Tuesday, April 12

1:10 a.m. – Larceny reported in the Clark Athletic Center. Robble robble.8:29 a.m. – Alarm call in the McCormack Building. Everything was okay.9:37 a.m. – Medical assistance needed in the Administration Building. Party was taken to the hospital.

Wednesday, April 13

10:28 a.m. – Medical assistance needed in the McCormack Building. Woman was in labor and taken to the hospital. Phew, I thought I just stepped in a puddle…11:27 a.m. – Medical assistance needed in the Campus Center. Party had a seizure and was taken to the hospital.

Thursday, April 14

11:33 a.m. – Disturbance in the Campus Center. Party vanished on arrival-Batman?

Friday, April 15

10:17 a.m. -Larceny reported in the Administration Building. Senator Kennedy is still looking for his “iced tea” bottle.11:18 a.m. – Larceny reported off campus. 1:02 p.m. -Suspicious person reported in the Wheatley Hall. Gone on arrival-Batman returns?

Saturday, April 16

12:24 a.m. -Accidental alarm call in the Wheatley Hall. That’s what she said-about Batman!