Gemini: Tomorrow morning you will be tempted by drive-through. But remember, bikini season is right around the corner.
Taurus: An old man wearing a parka will accost you for two dollars. Whether or not you give the money, you will see beneath the parka and be changed forever.
Aries: Put down this newspaper, immediately.
Pisces: Your dietary restrictions will come back to bite you in the butt on Friday.
Aquarius: Your birthday is coming up and you can never have too many scarves.
Capricorn: Sometimes it’s good to go a day without showering, regardless of how your hair looks. But don’t skip a shower on Tuesday, Feb. 5 or you will be filled with sadness.
Sagittarius: Those holiday cookies on the kitchen table are neither nutritional nor edible.
Scorpio: Your roommate will continue to not do his dishes to spite you. Leave his dirty dishes outside his bedroom door to spite him.
Libra: An old friend with the initial JM is about to come back into your life in the most unexpected way.
Virgo: You can never have too many socks! Especially on Sunday, Feb. 3.
Leo: One of your friends is sick with a bad head cold. Bring him or her a cup of chicken noodle soup.
Cancer: During your third history class you will realize that you’re major is a waste of time and money. Sorry.