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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Student Aces midterm without ever opening textbook

The students actual test and grade next to the book he has never even looked at.

The students actual test and grade next to the book he has never even looked at.

The Mass Media has received info from reliable sources that a sophomore scored a 98 on his midterm. The amazing thing about this is he did it without opening his textbook once this semester.
The sources and the student who received the A wish to remain anonymous. They fear the professor may make the final more difficult after reading this report.
“It was all multiple choice. I guessed a lot and just went on the knowledge of what I heard in the classroom when I wasn’t doodling,” said the student who scored the 98.
The student went on to describe the one time he did open his textbook, “I used it as a buffer,” said the student. “My laptop gets pretty hot, so I opened up the textbook, sat it on my lap, and put my computer on top.”
The 98 scoring student is now psyched because he’ll be able to do even less for the rest of the semester. “Heck no. I’m not going to study now. I’m in the A range so even if I get a D on the final, that’s like a C or B for the semester,” said the student.
However, this strategy of never opening a textbook didn’t fair well in all of his classes.
“I got a C and a D in two of my other classes, and yes, I didn’t even look at my book for both of those classes,” said the student.
Acing a test without paying attention in class is not an anomaly. In fact, a Jono Hopkins study (not to be confused with John Hopkins) found that 99 percent of students don’t pay attention and just cram the night before. Getting an A without ever opening the textbook? Now that is a rarity.
The Mass Media could only find one other case where this has happened before.
Last semester, Tricia Brown made the Dean’s List and she never once opened a textbook. She didn’t even take them out of the plastic wrapping. “ I was able to return them or sell them at full price, which kind of felt more rewarding than making Dean’s List,” joked Brown.
Brown always went about her schoolwork with as little effort as possible. “I don’t do much. Usually just try to catch up the night before a test, but last semester, I didn’t even bother. Imagine if I did actually study. I’d be like an Einstein or someone else who’s really smart,” said Brown.
When asked to recall what she learned in terms of the subjects she studied, Brown said, “Oh, I don’t remember.”