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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

11/27/23 pdf
November 27, 2023

One student’s extraordinary adventure through Welcome Week

Wilikers+was+dressed+as+Batman+the+first+day+of+Welcome+Week%2C+which+was+promoted+as+Be+Your+Own+Superhero.+No+one+else+wore+a+costume.

Wilikers was dressed as Batman the first day of Welcome Week, which was promoted as “Be Your Own Superhero.” No one else wore a costume.

Jimmy Wilikers has done something most believe couldn’t be done. He attended every event put on for Welcome Week.
Starting off with the Superhero Assembly at 7:30 a.m. on Monday, Wilikers believed that Welcome Week was going to be like Comic Con. After all, the week was promoted as “Be Your Own Superhero.” So when he showed up to the assembly, which was just a meet-and-greet for students, he really stood out in his Batman outfit.
“I felt like an idiot,” said Wilikers, “but at least there were cookies.” Wilikers ate half of the snacks because it was 7:30 in the morning, and he was the only one there.
Hopped up on sugar, he made his way to the Student Activities Desk and bought 10 tickets to American Idiot. Wilikers had no idea what the show was about and still to this day doesn’t know. Again Wilikers responded, “I felt like an idiot but at least there were cookies.” There were no cookies. Wilikers was so disoriented from all the sugar that the cookies he ate were really his American Idiot tickets.
He staggered into the National Student Exchange Orientation where Batman was yelled at him in 12 different languages. “In German, I’m apparently Schlagermann,” said Wilikers.
Wilikers attended SAEC’s 30th birthday party where he ate and danced. It must have been the mask that gave Wilikers the backbone to dance the way he did because if you saw what everyone else witnessed, you’d understand why Wilikers would hide for the rest of his life.
The second Superhero Assembly was held at 3:30 p.m. Wilikers attended and again was the only one in costume. “Tomorrow is another day,” Wilkers said.
Wilikers showed up to the 7:30 a.m. Superhero Assembly dressed as Superman. Again, he was the only one there. He ate half the snacks, sending him on another sugar rush followed by disorientation, leading into a coma. He bought a ticket for Pats Peak and at the Volunteer Fair, signed up for everything under the sun.
Showing up as Captain American on Wednesday, Wilikers again was the only one in costume and having already binged on snacks two days in a row  the third day sent him into a blackout. He doesn’t remember making out with the ice sculptures and getting his tongue stuck, or going to the Student Involvement Fair, signing up and nominating himself for president in every club. At the second Superhero Assembly, he stood up on a chair and screamed that the heroes must band together and stop the master plan. Wilikers was escorted away. He then enjoyed the comedy show in the ballroom.
On Thursday, Wilikers showed up to the Superhero Assembly in regular clothes. Everyone else was in a superhero costume. “I felt like an idiot,” Wilikers said. He laid off the sweet treats and was able to enjoy the Animal Adventures, taking pictures with the lynx, the crocodile, and snake who almost choked him to death. At the Glow-in-the-Dark Dance Party, Wilikers brought out his dance moves and thankfully it was really dark, so no one had to witness that monstrosity. Wilikers danced til the very last song. “This was the greatest week of my life,” said Wilikers, the student who embraced Welcome Week like no one else.