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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

A Rap Battle for the Ages: Papa Gino’s vs Papa John’s

The+two+pizza+chains+have+long+fought+over+who+was+better.+%26%23160%3BFinally+the+battle+took+place.

The two pizza chains have long fought over who was better.  Finally the battle took place.

From an undisclosed alleyway in the city two rivals finally came face to face to wage war with an onslaught of words. Yes, finally Papa John’s and Papa Gino’s rap battled each other to distinguish who is the one true Papa.
During a 15-minute work break, workers from the two pizza chain stores gathered to watch as a cook from Papa John’s battle against a delivery boy from Papa Gino’s.
To decide who would go first a pizza was flipped. Papa Gino’s delivery boy called cheese side up but it landed crust side up. With the choice to go first or pass the cook from, Papa Gino’s elected to pass. Papa Gino’s would begin the long awaited clash.
Setting up his turntables on a stack of pizza boxes, DJ Extra Slice dropped the needle and the instrumentals of Tupac’s “I ain’t mad at cha” filled the air.
Papa Gino’s had a minute to lay out Papa John’s. He came out shooting with an innuendo “Big Papa John’s with a little pepperoni, I’ve seen bigger on an anchovy.” He continued dissing Papa John’s manhood for a few more lines until getting a big whoop from the crowd with this line, “Your Super Bowl ads are great, but your commercial star Peyton Manning lost 43-8. The poor performance was from the pizza that he ate!”
Papa Gino’s rap hit on the primitive, the pop culture and then he went political. “How the hell can you work for that papa john sleaze? He wouldn’t raise prices 15 cents so you could have health insurance for free.”
The delivery boy had the employees of Papa Gino’s hollering and clapping while the employees of Papa John’s gave looks of anguish. But as DJ Extra Slice handed the mic over to the Papa John’s cook there was no fear in his eye. He wouldn’t disappoint.
Tupac’s “I ain’t mad at cha” started playing. The cook bobbed his head to the beat for a bit instead of attacking immediately like the delivery boy. Finally he looked at the delivery boy and spoke, “You’re a delivery boy, but I get more tips. The ladies love my extra sauce; no one wants your (explicit).” With that, the despair in the Papa John’s employees’ eyes vanished.
It was going to be hard to top that first line but the cook tried; slamming on Papa Gino’s lack of marketability, “Papa Gino’s what the heck is that? You haven’t been popular since Tupac made this rap.” And also, “Your restaurant doesn’t have a trademark face or a mascot. A logo of a guy puking would be right on spot.”
The cook wrapped it up with a few more disses, the DJ tried to determine who won but both sides yelled equally loud for their guy. Both sides agreed it was a draw and that they were both better than Domino’s. Everyone went out for Chinese food afterwards.