79°
UMass Boston's independent, student-run newspaper

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

eBay is a world to buy one-of-a-kind items; not always worth it

A+snowbank+once+sold+for+over+%243000+on+ebay.

A snowbank once sold for over $3000 on ebay.

Last week on the “The Colbert Show,” Stephen Colbert put a microwave he stole from Bill O’Reilly up for auction on eBay. He set the bidding for $43. As of Sunday, it’s at $4,700. 
The microwave is listed as used and described as “slightly used, but it still works.” It’s an old piece of crap, but it’s already going to make more than I do in two months. When the auction is finally over, the microwave could sell for more than what I make in a whole year. Of course the appliance is highly sought after because it’s an iconic piece of Colbert’s set, and all the money is going to go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. This week, a friend showed me a Cheeto that sold on eBay for $609 because it looked like the Jesus cross.
Seeing all this inspired the ensuing article of some outrageous items being sold on eBay. Hopefully after you read this you’ll get a laugh and maybe have a keen eye on absurd objects that can be sold to the highest bidder. Or maybe I’ll just help you find that $2,600 pencil sharpener you’ve been looking for; it’s not vintage, it’s just a regular office pencil sharpener.
Before you chow down on your next meal, take a step back and give a good look at the food. Does it look like anything? If so, then you have a good chance of selling it for some significant figures on eBay. A cornflake that looked like the state of Illinois sold for $1,350. Right now a potato chip shaped like a heart has a starting bid of 75 cents. Of course if it looks anything remotely like Jesus, it sells. A piece of bread with burnt parts that  resembled the savior sold for $200. Sometimes just ordaining something with a religious connotation will sell it. For example, a potato called “Holy Potato” sold for $147.
Not all bizarre things sold on eBay are overpriced. Right now, 0.313 acres of land in Durham, NC, is being sold for $280, but by the time you read this, the bidding will be over. 
Others have used the things they’ve brought into this world to make a profit; a lady auctioned off the rights to name her baby. A casino won and the baby is named Golden Palace. Now the kid won’t have to strip to pay for the first three semesters of college even though it has the perfect name to.
Some are trying to turn small money into big money. Two separate auctions are happening for a Roosevelt dime with a booger in his nose. One starting bid is 99 cents, the other is $2.25, and there are no current bidders.
There are some things that I have no idea if they are worth the price. A 9-inch 24K cast bronze statue by artist Emo Raphiel Astoria is being sold for $292,792.50. A collection of Jabo Logo Marbles is being sold for $5,999.99. The highest priced item sold is a Giga-Yacht which sold for $140 million.
So see if you can spin a story about a piece of junk being unique enough to get people to shell out some money. Auction off the ability to let someone name your big toe. Who knows what people will pay for on eBay?