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The Mass Media

Amadou’s take: “Cuffing Season”

Cuffing+Season+has+arrived
Cuffing Season has arrived

Since elementary school, we have been taught that there are four seasons. However, in recent times a new season has emerged: cuffing season. Cuffing season will starts in the coming days and will stick around the next few months. If you’re a rookie and don’t know what cuffing season is by now, then you’ve got to be roommates with Patrick Star.
Let me put it like this: summer is over, and the heat is diminishing day by day. More and more clothes are being put on. Muscles are getting covered, breasts hiding under hoodies, and everyone goes from being outside, to hiding inside with a controller in one hand and an iPhone in the other. Every singles anthem gets replaced by Drake, and anyone brushed off all summer long starts looking like a potential partner. No one wants to feel alone on the cold nights to come. We start looking at all the potential prospects–our contacts list and recent text messages.
The draft process is not taken lightly either. Actually, I can’t speak for all, because we’ve seen some people’s picks in the past– yikes! When ladies choose, they wonder, “Is he clingy? Does he have a past with any of my girlfriends? Does he text me back fast enough?” Oh, and my favorite, “Does he have Netflix?”
Men choose a bit differently; “Is she over-dramatic? Is she going to try to go through my phone? Am I going to have to text her ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ all the time?” And, of course, “Does she celebrate Christmas? I am not trying to buy her any gifts!”
Nevertheless, the two universal questions on both lists are, “Does he/she like to cuddle?” and “Is he/she looking for a long-term relationship?”, because the main thing about cuffing season is all in the title. This is a season, which means it is not, I repeat NOT, meant to last forever! There are no intentions of longevity with your first season contract. Once spring starts to show its face again, both teams usually renegotiate the contract, although some less dramatically than others. Most of the time, both teams  walk away into free agency, and only a few lucky ones get locked down.
Not many can handle their freedom after the long six-month season. They become very attached and enjoy the idea of playing exclusively. This is where things get complicated. As Drake says:

“We live in a generation of not being in love, and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we’re together. Cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else, cause you’ll say you love me, and I’ll end up lying, and say I love you too.” 
 
Yes, I did in fact quote Drake. Cuffing season is right around the corner, so don’t be mad because I’m prepared and you aren’t. Seriously everyone, choose wisely this season. Oh, and if you’re a veteran in this game, make sure you always have a backup. Try not to end up on the injury list with the dreaded Feelings.