Gemini (May 21-June 21): Explore the student archives building; you may find something priceless. Or lots of old books. More likely books.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Bull-ieve in yourself. Grab life by the horns. When you put your mind to it, you’re unbeata-bull.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Did you lose something? Check under your bed. It won’t be there, but you will find that other thing you lost 6 months ago.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Expand your horizons: try new and different foods, but remember, broccoli sucks.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Before you take the elevator, remember that there’s a 3% chance you could get stuck with the other people in there for hours if not days.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You will meet your knight in shining armor in the long cafeteria line. Literally. There’s a Renaissance faire in town.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): As High School Musical said, “Get Your Head in the Game!” And as Samuel L. Jackson said in Pulp Fiction, “You will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Strangers are just friends you never met yet. Or enemies. They could be enemies.

Libra (September 23-October 22): You’ve always used your overwhelming sexual magnetism to get what you want. Why stop now?

Virgo (August 23-September 21): Push your glasses up, wiggle your nose, and hope something happens. Let’s face it, you’re out of other options.

Leo (July 23-August 22): Use your sexy lion eyes when you order a burger. They might just give you free fries. Or be creeped out. Either way, it’s worth a shot.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): If your fortune cookie disagrees with your Magic 8 Ball, go with the cookie. It’s delicious.