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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

3-4-24 PDF
March 4, 2024
2-26-24 PDF
February 26, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.
Bobby's Inside Story
February 26, 2024

Shot of Arts

Faith Rewarded. George Michael was arrested this past week for possession of crack cocaine and marijuana. A UK tabloid reports that Michael was arrested after being apprehended in a men’s bathroom stall, where he was caught with the drugs. Michael issued a statement to the public and to his fans (all three of them) apologizing for messing up and letting everyone see the true fool that he is. No word on whether the apology is referring to the drug charges or his last CD.

Hot Child in the City. Well not hot, and certainly not a child, but Sarah Jessica Parker hinted that there may be a Sex and the City sequel in the works. The recently mole-free wench said that she would to do it and have everyone back for a second-go at another mediocre stab at a popular show. She does say, however, that they will not do the film if they do not feel they can get an audience to watch it. Really? That didn’t stop you the first time.

Stay-at-Holmes no more! In the wake of the recent run-in with anti-Scientology group members, Katie Holmes took her Broadway debut in stride. After her first walk down the Great White Way in All My Sons, Katie proved that she could hold her own on the stage. She even made hubby Tom Cruise say that he was “proud” and that he thought her performance was “really powerful.” He was overheard, however, saying that it wasn’t nearly as powerful as his egomaniacal grasp on the former Joey Potter. And most importantly, Suri wore pigtails.

Note to Miley: Wearing a low cut tank top and push-up bra to church with your equally-scantily clad boy toy still looks kinda skanky, even with that purity ring. The virginal star was caught walking into a church last Sunday with her wife-beater-wearing, shaggy-haired flavor of the week. Cyrus, who has been very public about her purity pact and her vow to remain celibate until marriage, flashed a little cleavage when visiting the house of the Lord. Between Hanna Montana and racy online photos, she’s the Breast of Both Worlds. Amen!