Dear UMBeMine:

A friend of mine recently slept over my place. We shared my bed and I woke up and he was all curled up against me and running his hand up and down my side and murmuring. I couldn’t tell if he was awake. I just pretended to be asleep and rolled over. We dated like years ago, and I’m the one that broke things off. This is the first time anything like this happened since that time. Now I’m wondering if he has feelings for me again.

I’m not sure if I should bring that night up or just let it go. He’s like my brother now, and I don’t want to screw our friendship up. I love how close we are, but I’m feeling like I’m not sure if I want him to sleep over again.

Odd Sleeping Arrangement in Winchester

Dear Odd Arrangement:

You’ve run into an old and familiar scenario: pretend-I-was-just-asleep-so-it-didn’t-really-happen. (Another version of this is pretend-I-was-too-drunk-to-remember.) I’m not sure anyone really buys either of these, but they’re good for maintaining the status quo. Keep in mind that we do funny things in our sleep that we wouldn’t do awake. If you’re not sure whether your friend was actually asleep, pay attention to whether or not he acts strange around you during the day. If you’re not getting that vibe like he wants to get back together, then you should probably let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak. If you do, then maybe you need to set clearer boundaries for your friendship. Oh yeah, and maybe find someone else to sleep with. 🙂

Sincerely,Lovechester