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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Police Log

Police Log
Police Log

Wednesday, November 137:01 AM: Police escorted an wanderer out of the library before opening hours. The person had clearly been looking for a temporary resting place, and as a result of Massachusetts’ Inter-Library Loan Program, he will be shipped over to Northeastern’s library for the time being.

4:26 PM: A larceny case is being investigated in the Healey Library. Choppers, bloodhounds, and Jack Bauer were deployed to the scene, but nothing has come up as of yet.

9:01 PM: A two car collision occurred on University Drive East. Both drivers were reported to be alright, and the problem of property damage was resolved when the two exchanged papers.

Thursday, November 14

4:26 PM: A two car collision occurred on University Drive East. Both drivers were reported to be alright, and the problem of property damage was resolved when the two exchanged papers…Maybe they were rubber-necking from the same exact incident just the day before.

Friday, November 15

12:40 PM: A major larceny went down in the Campus Center after a rogue group of diamond thieves stole something that somebody left behind. Fortunately the NSA put a trace on the stolen item, and they can rest assured that it won’t be found anytime soon.

Saturday, November 16

8:03 AM: Alarms went off in the campus center due to a mere malfunction.

3:05 PM: Police attended to reports of a homeless person causing disturbances near the Administration Building. Police took care of the situation, and resituated the man away from campus.

Sunday, November 17

11:30 AM: Police saw to a domestic disturbance in the Clarke Center parking lot. Upon arrival, police found a boyfriend and girlfriend in a heated exchange. They were both eventually calmed down, and went their separate ways.

6:16 PM: A UMB student was seen to by police for reported drunkenness. When Police showed up to the scene they found the man vomiting in the men’s bathroom. An ambulance was called in and the inebriated man was taken for medical help.

6:37 PM: An alarm went off in the Campus Center due to an ongoing Martian invasion. Students in the building were warned of the inevitable interplanetary conquest when…oh, my bad. The alarm went off because of a technical failure.

10:06 PM: Police reported to a security call on University Drive after somebody had picked up one of the Blue Light emergency roadside phones. We think it was one of the invading Martians from the last alarm call.