From the Stop Snitchin’ Dept:

‘Bribe’ Teacher Degraded (AP)

December 7, 2006– NEW YORK, New York.A college computer teacher tampered with school computers to inflate students’ grades in return for cash, authorities said.

Elvin Escano faces grand larceny and other charges, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said yesterday. Bail was set for $100,000 at his arraignment.

Students at La Guardia Community College would pay from $200 to $2,500 or gave him expensive items such as wine, Brown said.

Escano is also accused of recruiting students to generate more business for him, sometimes paying them with grade changes.

In September, Brown said, Escano advised a student who had received a subpoena to tell a grand jury she knew nothing.

Best. Story. Ever. Dept:

Man Fined for Tossing Pig at Hotel (AP)December 6, 2006– WEST POINT, Mississippi.

Kevin Pugh, 20, of Cedar Bluff, has been fined $279 for tossing a pig over the counter at the Holiday Inn Express in West Point on Nov. 12. Pugh pleaded guilty Tuesday in city court to a charge of disturbing the peace.

West Point Police Lt. Danny McCaskill has said Pugh didn’t know the employees of the hotel. There was no evidence intoxication was a factor.

No one was hurt, including the pig, officers said.

“This was the silliest thing I’ve ever seen,” McCaskill said. “Almost every officer we had was involved because the incidents kept happening at different hours.”

McCaskill said Pugh was accused of walking into the hotel and throwing the 60-pound pig over the counter.

“He said it was a prank,” McCaskill said. “It must be some redneck thing, because I haven’t ever heard of anything like it.”

McCaskill said there have been four late-night incidents involving animal-tossing at West Point businesses. Twice a pig was tossed and two of the incidents involved possums.

All four of the disturbances took place between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m., McCaskill said.

Pugh is accused in a second animal-throwing incident at a Hardee’s restaurant. He has pleaded innocent to disturbing the peace in that case and will appear in city court on Dec. 19.Duuuuuude Dept:

Court Takes ‘Bong Hits 4 Jesus’ Case (AP)By MARK SHERMAN

December 1, 2006– WASHINGTON – The Supreme Court stepped into a dispute over free speech rights Friday involving a suspended high school student and his banner that proclaimed “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.”

Morse suspended Frederick after he displayed the banner, with its reference to marijuana use, when the Olympic torch passed through Juneau in 2002 on its way to the Winter Games in Salt Lake City.

The school board upheld the suspension and a federal judge initially dismissed Frederick’s lawsuit before the 9th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals called the banner vague and nonsensical, but said that Frederick’s civil rights had been violated.

At that point, the school board hired Kenneth Starr, who investigated President Clinton’s relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. He took the case free of charge.

Frederick said his motivation for unfurling the banner was simple: He wanted it seen on television.

Dept. of Fearing the Reaper:

Death Rates Per Doctor to be Listed (Boston Globe) By Liz Kowalczyk

December 6, 2006– Massachusetts health officials have decided to publicize the patient death rates for individual heart surgeons, the first time the state will release information on the quality of care provided by individual doctors –not just by hospitals and physicians’ groups.

A Queasy Feeling Dept:

McDonald’s Forced to Shut Down From Lack of Patronage in Healthy Town (thisislondon.co.uk)

December 6, 2006– McDonald’s is closing its outlet in a town known for quality food and healthy, local produce.

The fast food chain in Tavistock, Devon, simply wasn’t being used enough by locals.

So after seven years struggling to make ends meet in a town that has won many accolades for the quality of its food, McDonald’s will finally shut up shop on Saturday.

John Taylor, chairman of Tavistock EatWise campaign, said: “Because of the quality of our local food McDonald’s has not been able to compete.”

Earlier this year Tavistock won the title of Best Food Town in the South West.

Mr Taylor said: “I think McDonald’s really started to suffer about 18 months ago when healthy school meals were introduced.”

“Children no longer needed to go there because they were being fed properly.”

A McDonald’s spokesman said: “As part of an ongoing review of our restaurant sites, it has become clear that the location of McDonald’s in Tavistock is no longer suitable.”