One of my favorite things about having a Google account is the customized Google homepage. On my iGoogle, there’s a gadget that gives me new news from Reuter’s Oddly Enough section. An article titled “A bad relationship can cause heart attack” (yes, attack was singular) showed up on Oct. 9, and of course I had to read it.

It said that doctors in London did a study and found that “the negative aspects of close relationships…are associated with coronary heart disease.” Monitored for a 12-year period, people who reported “arguments, criticism and other types of conflict” had a 34 percent higher risk of heart attacks or chest pain, and the figure was still high at 23 percent when factors like smoking, family history, drinking and obesity were removed.

The article then went on to say, that “if you have negative people around it is much worse for your health,” and that having positive people around can have a “protective effect,” to balance out the negative. So, basically, it’s saying that negative things are bad for you and positive things are good for you.

Um, isn’t that kind of a given? I mean, really. I think that understanding the definitions of the words “negative” and “positive” lets you kind of draw your own conclusions.

At any rate, what happens if you are that negative person? If you are the person who “argu[es], critici[zes] and [causes] other types of conflicts”? How does that affect your health?

Come on, really? With all of the technological, medical and whatever advances, you’re going to tell me that “people continually replay negative experiences”?

I’m pretty sure I could have sat in a room, twiddled my thumbs and I could have come up with that quote. I know that they studied people for 12 years, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that’s the kind of information they got from it?

I have a very simple reason for asking these questions.

In most cases, I am that negative person. At least, that’s how I perceive myself. And in no relationship am I more negative than in the one I have with myself.

So, if this article is telling me that I am going to give myself heart problems, I have a response: no freakin’ duh. My friend tells me that constantly (and then tells me to quit my job, ha ha). I’m completely aware of how much damage I’m doing to myself in terms of stress, but I want to know if my being negative about myself is going to take even more time off of my life.

I drive myself absolutely insane, and I hate on myself constantly. I didn’t think it would matter too much beyond my self-esteem being destroyed and all that happy stuff, but could it also be the reason why I have these weird chest pains every once in a while? Or is it just me being neurotic?

How come that wasn’t addressed? I would sure like to know if my issues are more than just mentally damaging. Wouldn’t this be something that would benefit hundreds of thousands of us?

People can get out of bad relationships; in most cases, it’s not too difficult. But, no one can really get out of a relationship.