For the Love of DogsEllen DeGeneres broke down on her television show last week about one of the most important issues facing us today. Oh wait. Instead of showing her concern for those in impoverished nations, the “war” continuing over-seas, or even the growing threat of global warming, DeGeneres graced us with her tears of a redistributed pet. I caught a flash of the teary-eyed talk show host on the eleven o’clock news, and I was sure something truly terrible had happened. When I heard the mention of a pet, I was expecting to hear an appalling story of torture, or some other animal-related story that would call for the “impressive” show she put on. But oh no. Apparently, all that was needed for a DeGeneres public melt-down, was the relocation of a precious pouch. Now maybe I don’t know the whole story, and I’m not denying that the removal of a loved furry companion can by tragic, but by no means does it call for that kind of melodramatic performance.

Can She Get Less?Well, apparently the answer to this is yes. Though Britney Spears attempted to reverse the decision of the court, and get back custody of her two sons, the action seems to have backfired. Because Brit still has yet to comply with the orders of the court, all of her visitation rights have been revoked. Though I do, personally, thrive on questioning authority, there is a time to throw nature to the wind, and do what you gotta do to see your kids. When that time will come for Britney, I have no idea.

Heidi Hires FiancéHeidi Montag from The Hills has hired her dim-witted husband-to-be to shoot her new music video. What should I attack first? So, Heidi thinks she can sing. Well, of course she can!! Who of today’s young, hot Hollywood can’t? I’m sure after that genius of recent musical magic, Heidi too, will have the powerful voice of popular…hmmm, nobody comes to mind. Regardless of talent, many of today’s performers at least entertain us with interesting music videos. However, I’m not so sure Mr. Barbie Doll has the most artistic eye, and I’m pretty sure that Heidi lying on a beach in her pink “bathing suit” is not anything new to viewers, and won’t retain their interest for long, if at all.

Best Place to Meet Your BFWhere’s the best place to meet your boyfriend? If you have kids, will you be proud to tell them how you first met? Well, I don’t know about you, but Lindsay Lohan should be pleased. Not only was she cleaning up her act at the reclusive Utah rehab center, but she met her next boy toy. Snowboarder Riley Giles has managed to avoid most of the limelight, but with Lohan on his arm now, the florescent flash may prove more difficult to get around.