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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Police Log

Click for an interactive map(locations are approximate)

September 58:13 a.m.: Faculty arrived to find one of the offices on the fourth floor of the Campus Center completely ransacked and it was assumed there was a break-in. However, public safety was surprised to discover that this wasn’t a regular burglar with a black mask, but rather a burglar with the original black mask: an ordinary raccoon. If one were to glance at the building from outdoors, they would immediately see the peculiarity with this situation: there are no trees near by, so how did the little rascal sneak in? The mystery remains, but I say hey, if he wanted to learn that bad, just let him attend.

10:40 a.m.: Medical assist needed in the Campus Center. A woman was transported to the hospital-perhaps after seeing a wild raccoon running around on campus.

September 67:03 a.m.: Minor car accident reported on Campus Center Dr. where a car collided with a shuttle bus. You must be really in need of coffee to miss one of those humongous buses. Try a travel mug. 10 a.m.: Hit and run reported in the North Lot.

12:19 p.m.: The beginning of a larceny double play in McCormack.

2:52 p.m.: Thief strikes again. Now people, it’s the beginning of a new semester, and everyone’s oh-so-excited about what they got from Daddy, and is showing off their new electronic wonders. This is all fine and well, except for the jealous poor few resenting you in a corner, but be sure to pack your precious away before scampering off to the bathroom next time, and maybe I’ll have less of these to write.

3:34 p.m.: Klepto sees another time to snatch something valuable, this time in the Campus Center.

4:33 p.m.: Medical assist needed in the Campus Center, person transported to hospital.

5:31 p.m.: Victims were slow to make a report, and a larceny from the day before was reported.

September 85:54 p.m.: Vandalism was reported in the Administration Building. A juvenile was arrested for vandalizing a bathroom. Kids out there, if you’re going to sneak onto a college campus and vandalize something, at least make sure it’s cooler than a bathroom.

5:57 p.m.: Small brush fire reported on University Dr. West near the State Archives. The flames were quickly extinguished.