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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Top Five on Campus: Make-out Locations

Quinn Courtyard
Quinn Courtyard

The campus at UMass Boston may be missing some of the exciting social locations, sleek architecture, and boundless open spaces found on most other college campuses. In fact, it lacks some of the most basic modern comforts that have become standard in other institutions of higher learning of its size. Yet it contains its own hidden gems that can fit essentially any possible need a student might have. Over the course of the semester we here at the Mass Media will bring you the top locations on campus for all your various desires, from a quiet place to study or grab a quick nap, to the best locales for getting intimate.

Being a commuter school, students are deprived of the opportunity to retreat back to their dorm rooms for a little tonsil hockey when the urge arises. Therefore I bring you the top five locations on campus (researched extensively by yours truly), to enjoy some deep throat yoga with your significant other, or anyone you happen to encounter during that monotonous break between classes.

1. Quinn Courtyard, behind Quinn administration building. The Courtyard area behind Quinn is a secluded area, away from high foot traffic and prying eyes. The spot also offers views of the Boston skyline and sports a sculpture by renowned abstract artist Willem de Kooning. The sculpture, entitled “Reclining Figure,” offers action-deprived students a perfect opening to request they and their partner do some reclining of their own.

2. The feet of “Huru,” entrance to soccer field. “Huru” is the giant steel protector of campus and he also does a good job of protecting the privacy of horny college kids with time on their hands and nothing better to do. The grass of the soccer field accommodates participants comfortably for vigorous making out in the sitting, supine, or prone positions. As an added bonus when you do come up for air you will be inhaling a sweet sea breeze.

3. Snowden Auditorium lobby, 1st floor Wheatley Building. The lobby outside of the Snowden Auditorium also has easy access to a quiet deck that offers magnificent panoramic views from Savin Hill to Marina Bay. This spot will be especially gorgeous once fall comes and the leaves begin to change as trees line the area along both sides of the perimeter road. The auditorium lobby also offers comfort from the cold weather once winter sets in, allowing frisky freshmen to enjoy a little nookie all year round.

4. Lounge, 2nd floor Campus Center. The lounge on the second floor of the Campus center, located just beyond our very own Mass Media offices, has floor-to-ceiling windows that look out over the JFK library. The room contains a number of seating options to make you comfortable while necking with your sweetheart.

5. Ryan Lounge, 3rd floor McCormick building. More of an exhibitionist? The Ryan lounge is often filled with students trying to catch up on some reading or just looking to pass the time with their feet up, listening to music. It is here that you’ll find it easy to draw a crowd. The room also has comfy plush sofas and some of the campus’s nicest downtown views to boot. Just try to keep the moaning and lip smacking to a minimum, people are trying to sleep after all.