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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

UM’be’ Mine

A few weeks ago we offered some advice on where to go on a first date. Well, now we are going to offer some advice on how you might go about getting that all important second date. Out there, in the real world, you will find all kinds of relationship advice. Some of it will be good, some of it will be bad, and some of it will be downright fatal. Here you will find advice from two separate people, one, a friend who is only there to help you out, the other, a desperate loner with a success rate as low as Britney Spears’ current sex appeal. If you should find yourself confused as to which is which, let the bold words “Good Idea” and “Bad Idea” be your guide. Happy Dating

Good IdeaSo, you’re going on your first date with that special someone and you want to increase your chances of getting a second date. Well, there is really no surefire way to do that. There are a lot of things you might try; bringing gifts, acting witty, dressing sexy. All of this is artificial and while it may get you a second date it ensures nothing but more opportunities for gift giving, wittiness, and flattering clothing.

Your best bet is very simple. Just be yourself. There is no need to act on a first date, or any date for that matter. Sure, it may work off the bat, but you’re building your relationship on false foundations. If you’re the kind of person who would normally wear your Star Trek uniform in public, then do so. Should you be the type of person who dances as if you have bees in your underwear, then dance that way.

Don’t hide who you are. If this other person is into you for who you are, you’ll get your second date. There is only one way of increasing your chances of building something good out of that first date. It all boils down to one simple word. Honesty.

Bad IdeaYou’re about to go on your first date and you really want a second one. What is there you can do to get your way?

Bring diamonds, the bigger the better. Diamonds are a definite green light for a relationship. No one turns down someone with a really nice diamond ring to offer. The only problem is that diamonds are pretty expensive. Unless you’re going to sell off all of your possessions (which really isn’t that bad an idea, now that I think about it) you’re probably not going to easily afford a diamond big enough to ensure anything more than that four minute backseat blowjob before you leave the Red Lobster parking lot.

There is one way you can get a second date without losing an arm and a leg. Beg. That’s right, get down on your knees and beg like your life depends on it. If they’ve got a soul, they can’t turn down a good heartfelt begging. It works for the family dog, right? And, it’s already been said that men are dogs, so why not act like one.

Don’t try to be too proud. Don’t try and pretend you’ve got a spine. Just beg. And, cry. Always cry.

If these things don’t work, comment loudly on some intimate part of their body, tell them graphically what you would do with that body part. Profuse sweating and heaving breathing are always pluses.