Click Here for a Police Log map.(Locations are approximate)

August 14

12:39 p.m.: Larceny was reported in the Beacon Fitness Center and a report was filed. Last year’s prowler must have enrolled for a summer session.

6:48 p.m.: A man was reported as having chest pains in Healey, so police dispatched for a medical assist. The man refused service and was on his way. Man, wouldn’t that just suck if they left and it hurt worse and he called them again and they didn’t come back? Like the boy who cried wolf, except serious.

August 16

11:45 a.m.: Someone reported a burning plastic smell on the fifth floor of Healey. Environmental Health and Safety checked it out and nothing was found. Maybe they just wanted to see what a G.I. Joe looked like when it was melting.

12:24 p.m.: In Wheatley, someone else reported a burning plastic smell. EHS came and checked it out again, and found nothing. Um.. Maybe it’s those meddling kids?

2:20 p.m.: There was a motor vehicle accident on Bianculli Blvd. in Dorchester. No one was injured, but there was some minor damage to a car. Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there aren’t really Transformers.

August 17

11:46 a.m.: Someone reported a burning smell in the Go Kids area in Quinn. The area was checked and nothing was found. At least the name of the area helps children remember what to do in case of a fire: go!

4:40 p.m.: Police found a party trespassing on University Dr. West. The man was previously arrested for domestic assault and battery, and was arrested again on trespassing charges. Ouch.

August 20

11:55 a.m.: A report of theft on the sixth floor of Healey was filed. Nothing like a before-lunch larceny.

August 21

2:14 p.m.: An alarm call from bookstore in the Campus Center. However, it was accidental. At least no one took any precious, precious textbooks.

4:33 p.m.: A suspicious person was reported being seen on University Dr. East. The party was gone before Campus Police got there. Sorry, it was my “Act like a creeper” day.

August 22

11:50 a.m.: A party in the service building received a threatening phone call. All right, prank calls can be funny, but threatening phone calls are not cool, man.

11:59 a.m.: Someone was found sleeping in Wheatley’s Snowden Auditorium. Police woke him up and sent him on his way. Well, the next time he wants to sleep, there have been a few staff members who took refuge under the desks of the Mass Media.

August 24

3:28 p.m.: Another accidental alarm call was made from the bookstore. Maybe they were trying to premeditate something? No, guess not.

August 27

10 a.m.: Campus Police assisted Boston University, Boston city and state police to find someone who was impersonating a police officer. Yeah, that just seems like a bad idea.

4:25 p.m.: Someone reported smoke coming from a room on the fourth floor of Wheatley. Police checked it out and a lab technician was sterilizing equipment. At least it wasn’t the smell of burning plastic.