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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Horoscope

Aries: Your uncontrollable sex drive will the topic of a passionate discussion behind your back on Thursday. Taurus: Wednesday will be a good day to clip your toenails, get any waxing done, and reflect on animal cruelty. Gemini: While you ponder the current economic crisis, don’t forget to consider the effect of the housing bubble on new car sales. Also, wipe that smirk off your face. Cancer: Look for Ostriches for moral support in this difficult time. Although it may look like it right now, you will most likely not die alone. Leo: Trespassing opportunities will arise on Friday. Virgo: Avoid puddles as much as you can, as they will get you wet. Also, stay away from scented candles. Libra: On Saturday, you will eat too much and feel bloated. Scorpio: One of the people on your list (you know what list) will unexpectedly give you what looks like the moment you’ve been waiting for. It’s a trap. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Be patient. Sagitarius: Your normal humdrum daily activities will feel especially burdensome around midweek. Resist the urge to chase small animals.  Big ones are okay, but be careful. Capricorn: Light on foot like wind – Merry prankster goes too far – Fleeing friends make fast enemies. Aquarius: Wednesday afternoon you should expect an especially low tide. Thursday morning will bring a high tide. Dress well. Pisces: Rejoice, no more Alanis! Your efforts to suppress your true personality have been paying off. Keep at it.