Why can’t we teach people about consent? Why can’t we teach them in primary school, secondary school, college? Why can’t we teach them in the way we teach Math, Biology 101 or Health? I am, obviously, one of those individuals who believes that consent should be a class mandated in high schools and colleges. A requirement, so to speak.
I believe consent needs to be taught to every individual. And not just the basic, bare foundation of it. I speak about enthusiastic consent. Consent that is given freely, happily and enthusiastically. I want these classes to teach that anything less than a person being fully engaged in sex is unacceptable. I want these classes to teach how to navigate sexual experiences, because let’s face it, we can’t all watch porn for guidance. As Jameela Jamil has said wisely: “learning about sex from porn is like learning how to drive from watching The Fast and the Furious. A f*cking terrible idea” (1). I want these classes to make it clear that consent is the most basic foundation of the amazing experience sex can be.
I want sex to be an open topic. I want it to be seen as natural, adventurous and devoid of stereotypes, shame and guilt. I want people to be able to speak of their experiences freely, without fearing judgement or shying away from it. And I still want those consent classes.
We teach about female and male anatomy (though some schools don’t even teach this). Why can’t we teach about language and words? About how a “yes,” and nothing short of this “yes,” means that you can approach the gloriously pleasurable anatomy of the human body. Why can’t we teach how to have a conversation of what people are comfortable with in intimate experiences? You’re into this? Sounds cool, maybe we can explore that. Why can’t we teach that sex can be the most amazing when two parties (or more, if you’re feeling adventurous) are in agreement. And again, enthusiastic agreement. Enthusiastic agreement, and nothing else. We teach that someone wearing a specific type of clothing is “asking for it”; why can’t we teach that clothes are not needed at all in the act, frankly, so why the hell would anyone think that they signal sex? We teach that sex is a private, secret act. Why can’t we teach that is natural to for humans, and a joyous experience when it is experienced mutually and enthusiastically? Why? Why do we shy away from this? Why do we make it an awkward topic in our homes? Sex is sex, and consent is a beautiful thing.
I believe schools and any educational institution has a responsibility to teach about consent. Teach everyone that they have the right positive sexuality, which begins with enthusiastic consent. Teach them that consent can’t be given where there is manipulation, pressure, threats, coercion, or where a person is not in the right state of mind. Teach them that enthusiastic consent is a beautiful thing, and only makes sex even more amazing.
(1) https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/jameela-jamil-tell-him-essay/