A total power outage in the old Science Center has left the building completely without electricity … and now, some two weeks later, the administration has finally taken notice.
Administration insists that they are taking this issue very seriously, and have released a statement promising to restore power to the building as soon as possible. The statement explains that at present they have been unable to solve the problem as the only map leading to the building’s main circuit grid is too old and cryptic for any person to read.
The statement went on, noting that, “there’s no concrete evidence telling us when exactly the power went out, however archaeological findings suggest that it has been about two weeks.” The professor of archaeology who conducted the research said later that the Science Center is a particularly interesting building to conduct research on, as dust analyses in certain, fairly prominent hallways suggests that they have not been trafficked for decades.
In the statement it is also explained how the power outage became known. Reportedly it was first noticed by a sophomore student who brought the problem to the school’s attention via an anonymous tip. The student has declined to comment as to why they entered the Science Center to begin with, however a widespread rumor holds that they have been using the largely uninhabited building to hide their stash of stolen Bionicles.
It is currently uncertain what the specific cause of the power outage was, however the two leading theories are that it was either science or a lack of science.
Outside their initial statement, most administration officials have had little to say regarding the power outage. When asked about the power outage, Interim Chancellor Katherine Newman said, “didn’t we demolish that last year?” When another reporter asked her what was to be done to maintain the Greenhouse while the power was out, Newman laughed saying “c’mon, we don’t really have a greenhouse!”
Miranda Ferd, A biology professor who taught most of her classes in the Science Center before the Integrated Science Complex was constructed, says that she is not at all astonished to hear that her old building is facing such troubles. “It’s always been this mysterious and dangerous building. I’ve known all along something crazy was gonna happen with it—and I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t even the worst. My whole career here it’s been a Chekov’s gun I’m still waiting to see fired.”
One student raised concern that the power can’t have been lost in the Science Center because they see classes in the building as they pass by on the catwalk every day. In response to this statement, however, the campus’s old, southern groundskeeper said, “that building? Why there haven’t been any classes in that building for well neigh forty years.”