Planking. You’ve probably heard of it. Here’s a quick definition in
case you don’t know: planking is when a person lies face down with
their arms beside their body in a streamlined position and then has
their picture taken in that position. But that’s not all! The art
form that is planking would be drab indeed if that’s all one had to
do to be considered a “planker.” What makes planking such a
exciting activity is where one planks. The object is to plank in an
unusual area. It also doesn’t hurt the planker’s reputation if the
planking has an element of danger to it. This leads me to my main
point. Can planking go wrong? How can something so damn beautiful
ever be wrong?

For instance, take 25 year old Australian office manager Simon
Carville. In a bid to boost his success with the ladies by
demonstrating his daring in what will no doubt go down as the
century’s greatest ever plank, Carville decided to plank NAKED in
the loving arms of a statue named Eliza. This statue stands on a
plinth about 40 feet from the banks of the Swan River in Perth
Australia. Run a quick search on Simon Carville to bear witness to
his bare bottom stretched across the beautiful bronze arms of a
beloved lady. What adds to the beauty of this plank is the danger
factor. For some reason, being naked in public is frowned upon
nowadays—it’s even a crime! Yeah, that’s right. A person can get
fined and even arrested for being scantily clad out in public.

What Simon Carville did for notoriety and amorous fulfillment
should be commended, and thankfully it was. It simply irks me that
his noble act could have led to a different kind of infamy. He
could have been known as the d-bag that got arrested for defiling a
beloved statue by forcing her to hold his sexy bits and whatnot. Is
it possible to sexually assault a statue? Maybe he could have been
charged with that (gasp!). Thankfully that didn’t happen. He was
allowed to return safely to his home unharmed and fully clothed.
But what happens when one isn’t so lucky?