Justin Bieber is no more. He is ex-Bieber. He has ceased to be. At least these are some of the theories floating around the webosphere. So if Justin Bieber is dead, how does one explain the fact that we keep seeing him galavanting about town? The answer can be summed up in two words: the Illuminati. Yes, the super secret (how do we know about them?) society behind the scenes plotting world domination has caused the Beebs to accidentally die in a car crash. They then proceeded to replace the young man, who coincidentally is NOT a twin, with a perfect look alike-one it can manipulate to their own ends. Are you having a hard time believing this? Check this out!
Have a listen to Justin Bieber’s smash hit “Baby” but don’t listen to it the “normal” way-listen to it backwards (who the HELL would ever do that?). Upon doing so, the listener will discover that there are multiple subliminal messages, most of them of a sinister nature, describing plans to rule the world and wage war among other things. He also boasts of his evil nature. Does it matter that “Baby” came out before his “fatal” car crash? Hell no! The Illuminati is all powerful and they can do anything including: accidentally killing a person, replacing said person with a replica they can use as an agent, while forcing that person to retroactively insert evil messages in their songs that readers can hear once the song is played backwards before they actually CONTACTED the individual in question! These are just a few of the talents the Illuminati can lay claim to.
Throughout history the Illuminati have been performing their dastardly deeds, using mind control to mess with poor idiots like us. They were behind every major important historical event ever. They were the cause of the infamous Crusades (even though the group, society, whatever it is wasn’t conceived until the 1600’s), the Spanish Inquisition, and of course the Illuminati was responsible for the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. Put it this way, the Illuminati is behind anything important that happens in politics. EVERY president of the United States is a secret conspirator involved with this organization-especially our current president. Reader, are you STILL skeptical? I want you to look back on everything you know about history and really consider the “facts” you’ve been told. Do you honestly believe that the attacks of 9/11 were orchestrated by a group of fervent followers of a religion which does NOT advocate unprovoked violence but has nonetheless decided to take their beliefs to an extreme level and has a long standing hatred for anything and everything western, OR an entirely secret organization which has been the subject of numerous cartoons, movies, video games, and novels? Exactly, you know you’re fooling yourself if you believe anything otherwise.
Why is Mass Media informing you of this super secret organization that nobody knows about? Well, seeing as you’re not listening to the REAL Justin Bieber when you play his songs on your iPod doesn’t that mean you’r being gypped? You need to be reimbursed!
How could I have been so blind? All these years it’s been in front of my face and I didn’t have the sense to see it?! All of these music artists I’ve loved for years are “secretly” involved in an organization hell bent on controlling me? Ladies and people who aren’t ladies, you’ve been had. You’re just a patsy! They’ve pulled the wool over your eyes and it’s about time you saw the truth! Also, you just need to get your money back.
