Saturday, March 12

7:40 a.m. -Suspicious person reported in Wheatley Hall. Person was reportedly carrying unusual containers. After further investigation suspect turned out to be a campus employee. The man on the TV told me to look out for ‘dem funny lookin’ peoples.

3:02 p.m. -False fire alarm in the Service Building. Someone pulled the alarm. Now that’s what I call funny!

4:41 p.m. -False fire alarm in the Campus Center due to a mechanical malfunction.

6:30 p.m. -False fire alarm due to a pipe leaking. 92 percent of fires are caused by water leaking out of pipes.

8:11 p.m. -Medical assistance needed in the Clark Center. Person had trouble breathing after being hit by a stick during a hockey game. If the Canadians are our so-called “friendly” neighbors from the north then why are they responsible for a sport that encourages fistfights and unsolicited violence? Next time you see a Canuck walking down the street you call the FBI. When it comes to racial and ethnic profiling it’s time we stop discriminating and include all foreign nationalities.

Tuesday, March 15

7:48 a.m. -False fire alarm in the Science Center due to mechanical malfunction.

6:17 p.m. -Juvenile complaint in the Clark Center. Kids were throwing rocks and snowballs. This is why we have television, so your kids don’t run around and cause trouble. TV will numb their desire for any real excitement.

7:48 p.m. -Vandalism reported in the Administration building. Someone tampered with the refrigeration unit connected to the coffee kiosk.

Wednesday, March 16

3:00 p.m. -Larceny reported in the Clark Center. Robble robble.

3:27 p.m. -False fire alarm in the McCormack building due to a mechanical malfunction.

Thursday, March 17

10:53 a.m. -Suspicious person reported in the Wheatley Hall. Homeless person was sleeping in back of the Snowden, but was gone when police arrived.

Friday, March 18

9:17 a.m. – Hit and Run accident reported on University Drive north.

Sunday, March 202:52 p.m. -False alarm in McCormack building due to a mechanical malfunction. That’s what she said.

6:06 p.m. -Juvenile complaint in the Healey building.

Monday, March 21

12:04 p.m. -Larceny reported in the Healey building.