I am sick and tired of seeing ads in The Mass Media. I’ve never paid my optional fee and I never will so long as you are accepting ads.

What do you need money for anyway? The Student Senate will give you money to print the paper. And students should put in real leg work instead of using new-fangled contraptions like telephones and computers.

Pay? Why the hell should students get paid? I believe students should sleep in the lower level garage and eat stray rats if they want to publish a newspaper.

Newspapers are for educated people, anyway. Students have no right to speak.

Furthermore, newspapers lead to debate, which might lead to democracy.

So I’m telling you for the last time, stop printing those damn ads and join the socialist revolution, you damn pansies.

Groucho Marx