Monday, March 31

3:39pm-A staff member from the McCormack game room reports threats being made by an individual.

3:48pm-A good person returned someone else’s lost property to Public Safety.

Tuesday, April 1

11:46am-The fire alarm was pulled on the second floor of the Wheatley Building, despite the fact that there was not a fire. That makes the incident a criminal act.

12:47pm-A suspicious vehicle was reported to be in the upper bus way. Campus police discovered a U-haul vehicle. Turns out, the whole thing was a misunderstanding and there was nothing suspicious going on at all.

5:10pm-A larceny occurred in the McCormack building when someone resorted to the desperate act of stealing food from the cafeteria. Once caught by staff, the individual was removed by campus police. Mmmmmm, potatoes.

Wednesday, April 2

11:30am-A suspicious person was reported to be peeking into bathroom stalls and looking at individuals as they tried to do their, um, business in the Science Center. The sick puppy has yet to be apprehended.

12:41pm-A car was struck by another car while parked in the Lower Level parking garage of Wheatley Hall. The inconsiderate driver who hit the car did not leave a note, making this accident a hit and run.

1:06pm-A larceny occurred in the Science Center when a computer was stolen from computer services. But alas, the thief did not remember the mouse.

Thursday, April 3

12:19pm-An assault occurred in the McCormack Building.

2:20pm-A car was struck on University Drive East.

5:16pm-Someone called campus security to report harassment occurring off campus, proving that badness is not limited to the UMB campus.

6:18pm-An individual reported hearing juveniles on the Crystal Bus conspiring to assault someone and steal a leather jacket. After being let off at the T Station, the MBTA police intervened. No word on whether or not the juveniles planned on stealing accessories as well.

Friday, April 4

12:52pm-An accident in which property damage occurred happened on University Drive North.

1:57pm-After inept construction workers broke a gas line in the Science Center, the Boston Fire Department responded.

4:56pm-A hit and run accident occurred in the garage below the Science Center. Doesn’t anyone care anymore? Really, can’t people leave notes?

Saturday, April 5

4:59pm-Campus police responded to a rumble occurring in the 150 Lot. Campus police separated the individuals and made them leave.

5:18pm-The parties involved in the previous incident decided that they were still pissed at each other and continued their battle outside of the Administration Building. Campus police forced the group to disperse again.

5:56pm-Campus police responded to a disturbance on University Drive South when a driver refused to pay the tow truck that pulled a car out of the mud. Messy business.