Monday, October 189:06 a.m. – Contract worker was injured while working in one of the pump houses on Promenade Rd. and refused treatment.11:08 a.m. – Worker moving stuff around in the Service Building set off an alarm.11:21 a.m. – Alarm in the McCormack Building.12:53 p.m. – A party complaining of back pain on the third floor of the Science Building was taken to the hospital by family members.

Tuesday, October 1911:05 a.m. – Alarm went off in the Service Building, was checked and deemed fine.12:20 p.m. – Alarm set off in the Service Building was the result of a door repair problem.2:13 p.m. – Suspicious person reported on the eight floor of Healey. The caller refused to give his name and the person was deemed not suspicious – hahaha!

Wednesday, October 2012:54 p.m. – Another alarm in the Service Building. Where in the hell is that building anyway?1:29 p.m. – Theft in McCormack. Robble robble.3:44 p.m. – Person in the McCormack Fitness Center refused to wear the proper attire and was advised to abide by the rules or leave. Leotards and leg warmers are not solely a lifestyle choice; they’re mandatory, baby.4:13 p.m. – Suspicious person reported looking into cars in garage. Turned out he was just waiting for the bus.8:09 p.m. – Suspicious person without books or a bag reported walking around aimlessly outside the Fitness Center.

Thursday, October 216:56 a.m. – Animal control called for an injured skunk, road kill, in the Lower Busway.6:53 a.m. – Alarm call in the Campus Center.8:06 a.m. – Alarm call in the Campus Center. Did I just say that?

Friday, October 227:01 a.m. – Alarm call in the Campus Center. This is getting redundant.4:34 p.m. – Alarm call in the Campus… just kidding. Actually, someone stole something from a locker in the Clark Center.7:35 p.m. – Medical assist in Wheatley. Party taken to the hospital.

Saturday, October 2312:40 a.m. – Unarmed robbery in the Campus Center. Party reported gold chains ripped off his neck on the first floor. Can’t get no hos if ya bling got ganked.12:42 a.m. – Person arrested for disorderly conduct at the end of a Campus Center function. It’s not a real function until someone gets taken away in cuffs.7:12 p.m. – Suspicious vehicle, aka: motorcycle in need of repair, reported in McCormack garage.