Ah, how sweet it is. Not only are the Red Sox currently in the World Series but they put the Yankees in the history book at the same time. As our archrivals choked harder then George W. Bush eating a bag of Rold’s Gold, the city of Boston rejoiced. All right, so we won, awesome. I remember what I did that night. I went upstairs and woke up my girl to tell her the news: that the Sox had won and I was on my way to the World Series (yes, I had Game One tickets. Be jealous). That night I slept so soundly, it was beautiful. We made history, no one to blame, just sheer joy. The next night was a different story. Still giddy about getting series tickets, I was listening to the radio and I heard the news that the Red Sox Nation, right after its greatest achievement, suffered one of its biggest defeats. It wasn’t in the World Series, hell it wasn’t even on the field at all. It was on Landsdowne Street, when a bunch of “fans” took to rioting to show their “support.” When all was said and done, one of the faithful lay on the side walk, not breathing. When the news hit the streets, the drunks streamed out of the bars and headed straight for Fenway Park. As the morons did such supportive, constructive things such as lighting fires, scaling the Green Monster, attacking police officers, and throwing metal trash cans, the Boston Police Department stepped in. Using “less-lethal” ammunition, the Boston Police tried to quell the chaos. I hear a lot of people saying that the cops are to blame, that the cops killed her. I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that at all. Let’s look at this logically: you’re a cop and you’re on patrol at Fenway. You could incite a riot and face lawsuits and suspensions or you could sit back and collect your 40 bucks an hour for working the detail. Yah, I think I’d kick back and relax and not go out of my way to cause myself any unnecessary pains in the ass. But what do you do when people can’t just be happy? What do you do when people start to light fires and scale the Monster? Answer: tear gas. The cops faced a classic Catch-22. They don’t respond fast enough and someone dies then they’re incompetent (see Super Bowl riot/party) or they work too quickly and an innocent bystander lays silent. A person at the scene was quoted in the Herald as calling the cops “murderers” but I think he was confused. He and that mob of morons killed that young girl. They proved that some people can’t just relax and enjoy the moment. They have to break stuff and be assholes. I guess I just don’t understand why when a team wins we can’t just celebrate, and by celebrate I don’t mean light stuff on fire. I mean go out and buy a round. Hell, go run sprints around your dorm naked, I don’t care, just don’t riot. When Victoria Snelgrove celebrated the Red Sox victory with a sausage on Landsdowne, she ended up being murdered by a group of people who couldn’t exercise self-control. Yes, she was murdered and she will be missed. When the Sox win the World Series hopefully her memory will prevent further stupidity. So when the party starts, do what Victoria did. Slap down your five bucks and enjoy a sausage, ’cause sausages never killed anybody.
Jay Upton is a Mass Media columnist. He can be reached at [email protected]