As the school year begins, we encounter students from so many different walks of life, and each student has a unique story of how they ended up in the seat next to us.
As we hear these stories that oftentimes vary so differently from ours, it’s easy for our minds to begin comparing. It’s something that has been ingrained from us since before we could even understand what we were doing.
Our capitalist culture is rooted in the concept of “haves” and “have-nots.” We are born into a society that places monetary value on humans based on our success, accomplishments and the life stages we currently occupy.
We’re taught that our good grades get us good jobs. We enter “competitive” courses where we’re pressured to stay on top of our schoolwork to succeed. Everything seems so life-changing because of the way it’s presented to us. A single bad grade seems like the end of the world.
People experience burnout due to comparisons like this. Your classmate that pushes their needs aside might do so because of the expectations their family has laid out for them, or even their extremely high personal standards.
Now of course, it’s not bad to lay out goals for ourselves. However, it’s extremely easy to lose control of ourselves when we’re trying to meet the expectations we feel others place on us.
If you do understand these feelings, know that you’re not alone. There are so many students who feel like they’re struggling to stay afloat as the semester moves along.
Some register for a number of classes that seem “easy and manageable” to someone else, yet personally feel like they’re in over their head. A new student who overextends themself engaging in multiple extracurriculars to bolster their resume may neglect self-care and their personal relationships.
The concept of “balance” is something that looks different to everyone. What matters is finding that state for yourself. Maybe you can handle four classes better than five, or strive for a B rather than an A for your mental well-being. Perhaps it’s better to join just one club instead of two or three.
Whatever it may be, it’s important to know that your journey will never look the same as the person next to you. And after years, or even decades, of being raised in a society that makes you compare yourself to people who are experiencing a completely different life, adjusting this mindset is difficult.
So as we enter this new semester, please have some grace for yourself. Life has never been, nor will it ever be, a race. People reach different goals at different ages, and as someone who spent six years trying to get her bachelor’s degree, you realize how important it is to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
My life isn’t on the same timeline as those I graduated high school with or even those with whom I began college. But that’s just how my journey played out, and that is perfectly alright.
As simple and cliche as it sounds, comparison really is the thief of joy. Life would be miserable if I robbed myself of the opportunity to celebrate graduating with my bachelor’s just because “other people did it faster,” or “it’s what I was supposed to do.”
In this world, it’s extremely easy to undermine our accomplishments, so take the rebellious path and celebrate them instead. Allow yourself the compassion to navigate college life in a way that works for you, which will allow you to bring your best self to whatever you’re participating in.
I hope you all allow yourself to enjoy this new semester, however that looks for you. For some, this is a new chapter and for others, like myself, it is the end of one. Please make sure to find strategies to maximize your joy this year so that you can look back on this chapter with appreciation and a better understanding of yourself.
Above all, take a deep breath and drink some water. You’ve got this.
