When you think of university, you think of classes, professors or crippling student debt, but its bathrooms may slip your mind. The bathroom you choose could make or break your day, and as someone who uses the bathroom almost every day, I feel qualified enough to review the features of UMass Boston’s many bathrooms.
The bathrooms in the Campus Center do not give you time to play around. It’s in and out in those facilities, which is on par with the hustle and bustle of the building itself. Its standard bathrooms, located on the right side of the building, are nothing special, but they get the job done. They offer plenty of stalls for you to do your business in, but don’t let the door hit you while washing your hands! It’s happened to me too many times to count.
The Campus Center bathrooms towards the back of the building are a different story. Specifically, the girl’s bathroom on the first floor. I think this bathroom is the hottest place in the entire university. You’ll be sweating bullets before you can pull up your pants. Not to mention it’s in a high-traffic area, so strong odors are likely to be present.
University Hall’s bathrooms are the nicest-looking bathrooms, being in a more recently constructed building. But don’t let their looks deceive you; these bathrooms are missing a key component of a good bathroom experience: paper towels.
Hand dryers, filled with fecal matter particles and dirty bathroom air, are the only option to dry your hands? No, thank you. I’ll be taking my business elsewhere.
If you want to get possessed, I would recommend Healey Library’s bathrooms. The bathrooms are basically the same on every floor. Poor lighting makes them dark and spooky, which will have you debating whether a bathroom trip is worth your life.
McCormack Hall’s bathrooms are far from perfect. The main bathrooms only have two stalls each, making them cramped and often crowded. Its bathrooms are in dire need of a makeover. I’ve also found that if you go to a bathroom on one of the higher floors, the soap leaves a strange smell on your hands that’s far from pleasant.
McCormack has a few saving graces. The building’s toilet paper, which is still two-ply like the rest of the university, has little decorative embossing across it, so you can poop pretty.
You may also come across some dialogue on the bathroom stalls. My personal favorite is the ongoing religious debate in the first stall of the second-floor women’s bathroom. Does God love you? Find out next time you’re on the toilet.
Wheatley Peters Hall has the strangest bathrooms at UMass Boston, and far too many at that. The way they are constructed is as if they were an afterthought to their architect. These bathrooms take the cake for the most cramped. At a whopping 5-foot-3-inches, if I put my arms out in the women’s bathroom next to Snowden Auditorium, one arm will be in the stall while the other touches the mirror.
Wheatley Peters has one bathroom that stands out among the crowd. Hidden away on the second floor, past the bio-chem molecular immunology doors, is a single private bathroom that’s ridiculously huge. It’s bigger than some of the multi-stall bathrooms. This bathroom is one of my favorites. I could do a celebratory cartwheel after I flush.
That is, if I could flush. This bathroom’s automatic sensor can’t sense a thing, and there’s no button to flush the toilet manually. So, use this bathroom as you please, but be warned, what you put in there may stay in there forever.
Out of all the university bathrooms, one will always have my heart. The Quinn Administration Building is not as popular as the others, which makes it perfect for using the bathroom.
On its bottom floor are private, single-stall bathrooms, which are the cleanest in the university. Ever walk out of a bathroom only to find a person waiting to walk into the cloud of foul odor you left behind? You don’t have to worry in Quinn — almost nobody else is there!
As someone who identifies as a woman and an English major, I unfortunately do not have the experience necessary to review men’s bathrooms and bathrooms in the Integrated Sciences Complex. But still, I hope you use this information to choose your next bathroom visit wisely.
