Does anyone remember during the last presidential election when the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy was parading himself and other celebrities around in those Vote or Die t-shirts and ads? My favorite was seeing Paris Hilton at an MTV awards show with one on. She later said that she promised P. Diddy that if she didn’t vote she would definitely “dye” her hair. Yes, my fellow students, these are the role models that are telling us to get off our sorry sacks and get out and vote (or die). With the state’s gubernatorial elections coming our way, if Diddy were in town still chanting this slogan, many of us may have had a tough choice to make. Not the tough choice of who to vote for, but whether we wanted to face the gallows or face the voting booth.

I know it is our civic duty and is the basis of democracy, but there isn’t a soul out there who is twenty-something and has voted in an election were there were two viable candidates that were both so good you couldn’t decide who to vote for. These days we have to decide which one we like the least, and pick the other. Bush versus Kerry, you really don’t hear too many people saying they really wish John and Teresa were in the White House right now even though most of them wish Dubya was anywhere but. Sorry Senator but you lost me at “John Kerry reporting for duty” when you made your entrance at the DNC.

Back to our heated governor’s race, soon it will be time to pick your poison. I thought I might like Deval Patrick until my African Studies teacher filled me in on him. He worked for a company called Ameriquest. They’ve only been sued by all fifty states. Deval said he joined Ameriquest to help change their policies. In short, they scammed poor people. So Mr. Patrick, you worked there to help change their policies. What about the $350,000 salary that you were raking in? Did you use all that green to help all those poor people who Ameriquest defrauded?

There’s really nothing I can say about Kerry Healey, but that’s pretty much the point. What have you been doing the last couple of years? Nobody heard of you before Mitt picked you to be his “Number 2”, and again I have to ask. What have you done for us in the last couple of years except walk three feet behind and two steps over from a governor whose only intention in getting elected to his current office was to use it as a stepping stone to the presidency (or a guest spot on Big Love). So our two prime candidates aren’t worthy of your vote, or even a job at Massport. What about the third independent candidate in one Christy Mihos? The guy’s own brother was in business with him for thirty years before he came out and publicly endorsed against him. No thanks.

So all we have left is poor old me left sitting at my desk with my old Vote or Die t-shirt on wondering who to vote for. Do I have to die? Can’t it be Vote or Poke My Eye? I am left wondering which candidate is going to be worse for Massachusetts. I guess I’ll decide which one that is and choose the other.