I’ve finally found myself. For the last two years, I’d been lost, but I think I’m back to my former self. My name is Paul, and I am a Red Sox fan.

My confusion began in 2004 when, against my better judgment, I prayed to the baseball gods to finally let our boys take one home. They must have been listening, because the rest, as we all know, is history. My cousin Ian told me not to broach this subject or I’d have to change my name and move out of Southie, but the Irish stubbornness in me told me to say it anyway; THE SOX AREN’T IN THE PLAYOFFS, AND I’M ALRIGHT WITH THAT!!!

Yes, I finally said it. I’ve been going through the motions all year, last year too. I am a fan, no doubt about it. I have a room dedicated to all my Sox memorabilia and half my wardrobe has a Red Sox emblem somewhere on it. I make my pilgrimage to Fenway many times a season, rising costs are a bother but they do not discourage me. I can assure you I’m as diehard as they come. Jimmy Fallon followed me around before “Fever Pitch” to get an idea about what it really means to be a hardcore Sox fan.

The reason I’m cool with them not making the playoffs this season and finishing third behind the Blue Jays is because everything in my world is right again. We all grew up under the same Sox circumstances, whether you’re 25 or 65. Sox in first at the All-Star break…Sox looking good through July…I Think this might be the year ladies and gentlemen. Come August- Sox lose a couple, Yanks gain a game here a half a game there. Hello second place, but don’t worry we can still win the Wild Card (Don’t get me started on this- when the Angels won the World Series after taking the Wild Card I’m sure everyone in Boston said it didn’t count).

Anyway, I digress. We all grew up thinking every year might be “The Year”. Clemens was supposed to take us, Tom Brunansky, Jack Clark, Mo Vaughn, Reggie Jefferson, Nomar…The list of players who were supposed to bring us that trophy just in my lifetime would take up half of this paper. My point is- now Indiana Jones has found the Holy Grail, why make Part IV? Yes I cheered when Foulke got us that last out. I went to the parade and cheered too. But a lot of my identity had to do with the fact my favorite team. Although they never finished completely on top, still came out every season and played their guts out. They strapped on their cleats and told us this is the year.

They left us feeling like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart. Though George Steinbrenner was disemboweling us, we always had enough left in us to scream Next Year!!! Maybe I am just lying to myself and the only reason I am O.K. with the Sox not being in the playoffs is because the Yankees lost and now there’s trouble in the Evil Empire, with talks of canning Torre and trading A-Rod. All I can say to my fellow Fenway Faithful is not to worry, because next year is the year the Sox bounce back from third and win it all again.