This story stinks…an elementary school principal in Toronto was suspended from her job for throwing a pile of human excrement at a male student, hitting him on the shoulder. Her outburst was apparently due to “total, total frustration.” She just “couldn’t take it anymore.” After the investigation, she may get her job back. (Oh, tenure.) Our big question is how and why she managed to have a pile of human crap ready to throw. An alternative disciplinary strategy?

Another crappy story…a woman in Nanjing, China fell six stories from her apartment building to land in, you guessed it, a pile of human excrement. The woman was apparently hanging laundry when she overbalanced and fell. Luckily, workers had just emptied the building’s septic tank, forming a 20-centimeter cushion. She sustained only minor injuries, but boy did she stink afterwards.

A coyote walked into a Quiznos sub shop in Chicago on April 4, taking an hour-long siesta in the drink cooler before animal control officers were able to drag him out. If he proves to be healthy, animal control officers will release him in the wild, where he should be safe but won’t get to partake of those Mmm..mmm…toasty meat sandwiches anymore.