The final moments of the S.S. Get Some seen here being swallowed by the sea beast.
The sailing team’s flagship the S.S. Get Some departed on a routine expe- dition into the harbor. Smooth sailing through calm seas turned into a har- rowing fight for life due to the sudden and unexpected release of the Kraken. Richard Moniesworth the IV, Sailing Team captain, and boggle champion was at the helm on that fateful day. It was a fine day for sailing and ev- erything was going swell when out of nowhere an annoyingly shiny Liam Nelson descended from suddenly manifested storm clouds and pro- claimed, “‘Release The Kraken!’ The Sailing team proceeded despite the extraordinarily strange apparition and its purported, “astonishingly bad fashion sense.” Moments later a whirl- pool appeared and threatened to sink the S.S. Get Some. If it were not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Get Some would be lost. However the treacherous pool of whirl would soon be the least of their worries, according to First Mate Derek Blunderbuss. “Off of the starboard bow the great beast arose, vengeance was in his eyes and lust in his heart,” said Blunderbuss. “We fought with everything we had, firing our cannons and pistols, hurl- ing our spears. But he was too much for us, the vile sea-demon! Heartbro- ken and furious, we had no choice but to abandon ship. The orchestra amaz- ingly kept playing, brave chaps that they where. As we bobbed helpless in the freezing tumultuous ocean, The Kraken wrapped his tentacles around our beloved ship and quickly returned to the watery deep.” All the members of the team made it safely back to Harbor Point. Unfortu- nately, only a French horn was recov- ered from the wreckage. The Mass Media was able to con- tact New England’s foremost Kraken expert, who also happens to be a re- nowned fish-stick enthusiast, for fur- ther elaboration. The Gordon Fisher- man had this to say, “ARRRRG, I’ve seen that beast swallow seamen whole. It is Kraken mating season.” Despite our pleas for him to stop, he described in excruciating detail how the beast would violate the S.S. Get Some. A memorial is being planned for the beloved vessel and orchestra tryouts start Friday.