Ah, the good old American judicial process. What is it that constitutes justice in America? Wait for it…wait for it…money, plain and simple. This past week we saw actor Robert Blake walk on the charge of murdering his wife. Why? Because just like Monopoly he had a get out of jail card, sans the free part.
As I heard the news on the radio, I was drawn back to my seventh period Western Civ. class, during my freshman year of high school. The students sat intently listening to the radio as the jury rendered its verdict, “On the counts of murder in the first degree, we the jury find the defendant…not guilty.” To that reply my teacher, Mr. Whitaker, proceeded to run down the halls screaming, “The Juice is free! The Juice is free!”
This is my memory of the O.J. Simpson trial, O.J. killed his ex-wife and her boyfriend and instead of going to jail; they just took all his money. Yup, nothing like pay-per-play justice. I mean why go to jail when Johnny Cochran can say the glove was too tight to render a not guilty verdict, remember the time honored phrase, “If the glove doesn’t fit you must acquit.”
I mean everyone liked O.J.; he was a football legend, a sports commentator, and an actor. And for this reason, he didn’t go to jail, double murder and no jail. If there was an allegation that I killed someone, and they found blood on the inside of my car, I would be sitting in a maximum security cell somewhere rotting away for the rest of my life with a roommate who likes to call me “Muffin”. But not the Juice, that bastard plays golf, and now he’ll have someone to tee off with him, Robert Blake.
OK I know I’m being a little bit critical of the judicial system, ’cause that scenario could have happened to anyone. I mean if I had a dollar for every time I left my “personal protection” handgun in a restaurant I’d be a very rich man.
How goddamn ridiculous is that? Robert Blake goes into a restaurant to get his gun, comes out and his wife is shot to death. OK, if that wasn’t enough he had propositioned a former stuntman to actually do the deed for him, even playing out the same scenario, shooting her to death outside of his favorite Italian restaurant.
The defense used the fact that she wasn’t dead when paramedics got there, arguing that if he did in fact shoot her, why didn’t he kill her? Um, he shot her in the head; her still being alive wasn’t probably planned.Here’s my favorite quote, “You’re innocent until proven broke.” That was what Blake had to say after the trial, which cost him a reported 10 million dollars. Now he claims that he is going to have to go out and get a job. Aw, poor murderer has to go out and get a job…cry me a river; if he didn’t kill his wife he wouldn’t of had to pay 10 million for his get out of jail card. I hope he has to work at a Starbucks…man, I hate Starbucks.
Well I’m trying not to dwell on it, but it really bothers me that this guy is walking. Look at Scott Peterson, that ass is going to get what he deserves. He killed his wife and child and now he’s going to jail and possible even death depending on the appeals. What’s the difference between Scott and Robert? They’re both guilty, but Scott must have forgotten that you can only kill people if you have 10 million, or if you land on Community Chest. Either way, while Scott rots away in prison, as he should, Robert Blake and O.J. will be teeing up down in Florida.
Moral of the story is: who would have thought that the game of Monopoly would imitate life so clearly? In the game its fifty bucks and you’re free as a bird, in the United States Judicial System it’s ten million. I don’t care either way, as long as I get to be the race car.