Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Q: I’m your father’s girlfriend. Why did you kill my one true love?

A: Paul Thomson was an abysmal piece of human garbage. For the thirty minutes that I knew him, I hated him. Look, I’m not one to comment on who should be loving who, but the guy made me, and I’m half lighthouse. The guy made Sea-Man, and he’s half fish. Do you see where I’m going with this? Maybe you’re a bobbit worm or something—I don’t know. What I do know is that I did the world a favor when I killed my dad. I’m not sorry. No regrets.