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UMass Boston's independent student newspaper

The Mass Media
Corrections: Vol. LIX, Issue 16
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco addresses the campus community at the campus update meeting on April 16.
Update addresses visa revocations, federal funding
Students walk on Harvard University’s campus amid the increasingly public battle between the university and President Donald Trump.
Harvard lawsuit challenges funding freeze
Faculty council urges administrators to meet with student activist group
Protestors from universities in Washington protest President Donald Trump’s dismantling of and funding cuts to the Department of Education April 4.
Suárez-Orozco, Meehan join letter opposing government intrusion
Students walk on Harvard University’s campus amid the increasingly public battle between the university and President Donald Trump.
Harvard lawsuit challenges funding freeze
Thousands of protestors gather on City Hall Plaza April 5 to fight back against the Trump administration.
Thousands pack Boston streets, protest Trump
Students wait by the JFK/UMass commuter rail stop. Jeff Loussaint, a UMass Boston student who commutes to campus by the commuter rail, noted a lack of fare collection at certain times of day.
Audit uncovers issues with commuter rail contract
Patrons visit the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum days after the museum’s reopening.
JFK Presidential Library reopens, reinstates staff
Image by King of Hearts via Wikimedia Commons. CC BY-SA 4.0
Mass. joins 15 state attorneys general in issuing DEI guidance
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco addresses the campus community at the campus update meeting on April 16.
Update addresses visa revocations, federal funding
Faculty council urges administrators to meet with student activist group
Protestors from universities in Washington protest President Donald Trump’s dismantling of and funding cuts to the Department of Education April 4.
Suárez-Orozco, Meehan join letter opposing government intrusion
Professor Peter Kiang speaks to the audience alongside representatives from the Asian American studies program. Photo courtesy of Oscar Chen
Asian American Studies Program holds AAAS reception
Calvin Hill addresses state of DEI
The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement badge sewn into their uniform. ICE reported that they have arrested 370 undocumented immigrants since their declared crackdown on Boston from March 18 until the report’s release March 24. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson.
ICE REVOKES UMASS VISAS
Students at UMass Amherst formed student encampments in support of Palestine last spring, alongside dozens of other universities across the country. Photo courtesy of Amanda Achin
UMass Amherst under investigation for alleged ‘antisemitic’ activities
Officials from the New England Commission for Higher Education stand at their open meeting on March 25.
Accreditation organization visits campus, surveys students
The U.S. Department of Education headquarters sits in Washington D.C. After the Trump administration ordered the dismantling of the department, thousands have lost their jobs. . REUTERS/Nathan Howard
Trump orders Department of Education to prepare for closure
The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement badge sewn into their uniform. ICE reported that they have arrested 370 undocumented immigrants since their declared crackdown on Boston from March 18 until the report’s release March 24. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson.
Live Updates: ICE revokes UMass Boston visas
Corrections: Vol. LIX, Issue 16
Corrections: Vol. LVIII, Issue 15
Corrections: Vol. LVIII, Issue 12
Corrections: Vol. LIX, Issue 11
Corrections: Vol. LIX, Issue 10
The Beacon Scoop Shoppe finds a permanent home in a brand-new station. Photo courtesy of Dining Services
Dining Commons renovations include new ‘UCook Kitchen’
Students from the first Filipino American Studies class gather in Panethnic Pourovers. Photo provided by Alyanna Dusanban
New Filipino American studies class debuts
Goodbye, Mass Media
Geriatric African penguins perch on a rock at the New England Aquarium's penguin retirement home. Photo courtesy of the New England Aquarium.
New England Aquarium opens penguin retirement home
Vocalist and guitarist Will Donahue, guitarist Maxx Nunn, bassist Sammy Scott and drummer Isaiah Rowe formed their band in 2022 under the name Lunch Money. Photo courtesy of YELLOW
Berklee band ‘YELLOW’ debuts new alt-rock EP
Meet Maryam Halimi, an Afghan woman making history
Dr. Susan Tan, Assistant Professor of English, has written several children’s books, including “Ghosts, Toast, and Other Hazards.” (Submitted by Susan Tan)
Inside the imagination: An interview with Susan Tan
Executive Chef Jocelyn Aurelien smiles for a portrait in the Dining Commons.
Executive Chef Jocelyn Aurelien makes waves in UMass Boston dining
Elizabeth Fay was an editor for “The Afterlives of Frankenstein: Popular and Artistic Adaptations and Reimaginings,” which released in 2024. (Submitted by Elizabeth Fay)
The impact of Romanticism: An interview with Elizabeth Fay
Professor John Fulton, author of "The Flounder" and one of 35 winners of the National Endowment for the Arts grant. Submitted by Prof. Fulton.
Prof. John Fulton earns NEA grant for ‘The Flounder’
Comedian Rachel Sennott stands with fellow cast members Maria Bakalova and Chase Sui Wonders at the premiere of “Bodies Bodies Bodies.” Photo by Katie Marriner is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
6 movies sure to get you into the spirit of summer
The cast of “Peter and the Starcatcher” dances together in a performance earlier this month. Photo courtesy of William Doncaster
‘Peter and the Starcatcher’ cast and crew delivers a stellar performance
Joe Keery, who sings under the name Djo, speaking at the 2017 San Diego Comic Con International panel for “Stranger Things.” Photo by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
Djo’s ‘The Crux’ blends ‘70s rock and modern indie
“My Head is Too Heavy” by Amy Giese focuses on the inaccuracies of photographic seeing and coming to terms with chronic illness. Photo courtesy of Emerson Curatorial Practices
MOVEMENT/S: A Student-Curated Exploration of Art in Motion
Celebrating senior recitals through music and memory
“My Head is Too Heavy” by Amy Giese focuses on the inaccuracies of photographic seeing and coming to terms with chronic illness. Photo courtesy of Emerson Curatorial Practices
MOVEMENT/S: A Student-Curated Exploration of Art in Motion
Idina Menzel’s character Jesse uses the titular redwood forest as an escape from her grief. Photo via Flickr licensed under CC0 1.0.
REVIEW: Idina Menzel’s “Redwood” misses the forest for the trees
Kathy St. George and Sam Simahk (center) with (from left) Meagan Lewis-Michelson, Kerry A. Dowling, Ronan Green, and Billy Meleady during "Going Up." Photo courtesy of Nile Scott Studios.
SpeakEasy’s “A Man of No Importance” honors the work and life of Oscar Wilde
Grand Kyiv Ballet enchants with ‘Swan Lake’
Grand Kyiv Ballet enchants with ‘Swan Lake’
A student observes Beth Campbell’s “Shifting,” a mobile piece commenting on familiarity and memory.
‘(Re)Visiting’ celebrates the history of visiting artists at UMass Boston
The Brattle in Harvard Square has been a hub for cinephiles since 1953.
Keeping cinema alive at The Brattle Theatre
Bob Dylan performing in 1978. Photo by Chris Hakkens is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Knocking on cinema’s door: Exploring Bob Dylan’s legacy in ‘A Complete Unknown’
Moviegoers enter for a daytime showing at the AMC at Boston Common. Photo by Saichand Chowdary / Mass Media Staff
Get excited for these upcoming 2025 releases
Rachel Zegler and Jaeden Martell, who play Laura and Eli, both starred in Y2K, which was released in December of 2024. Photo by Nicole Rivelli via A24.
Reimagining the ‘millennium bug’: Kyle Mooney and Evan Winter discuss A24’s ‘Y2K’
Pedestrians walk past the Boston Common AMC movie theater.
Flying high: ‘Wicked’ reimagines the land of Oz
Joe Keery, who sings under the name Djo, speaking at the 2017 San Diego Comic Con International panel for “Stranger Things.” Photo by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
Djo’s ‘The Crux’ blends ‘70s rock and modern indie
Lucy Dacus performs in Seattle on October 22, 2019. Dacus released her new studio album “Forever is a Feeling” in March. Photo by David Lee licensed under CC-BY SA 2.0.
Lucy Dacus explores timeless love in ‘Forever Is a Feeling’
Idina Menzel’s character Jesse uses the titular redwood forest as an escape from her grief. Photo via Flickr licensed under CC0 1.0.
REVIEW: Idina Menzel’s “Redwood” misses the forest for the trees
The Blue Stage at Boston Calling of 2023.
Get ready for Boston Calling, coming Memorial weekend
Vocalist and guitarist Will Donahue, guitarist Maxx Nunn, bassist Sammy Scott and drummer Isaiah Rowe formed their band in 2022 under the name Lunch Money. Photo courtesy of YELLOW
Berklee band ‘YELLOW’ debuts new alt-rock EP
A Philadelphia Eagles quarterback faces down a Washington Commanders player. The Eagles are known for using the “tush push” play. Photo via Flickr is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Why would the NFL ban the ‘tush push?’
Sep 24, 2024; Toronto, Ontario, CAN; Boston Red Sox left fielder Jarren Duran (16) celebrates with teammates in the dugout after scoring a run against the Toronto Blue Jays in the tenth inning at Rogers Centre. Mandatory Credit: Dan Hamilton-Imagn Images/ File Photo
Famous athletes struggle with their mental health, too
Women’s softball huddles together during their final games this season.
Softball endures tumultuous final 10 days
Max Moss pitches at the game March 25 against Tufts University. Photo provided by Beacon Athletics
Baseball seniors celebrated amidst playoff push
Seth Libby, Shane McGonagle and other players gather on the field during their game April 19. Photo provided by Beacon Athletics
Men’s lacrosse cruises to blowout before falling in overtime thriller
Jack Baker and Matt Laverty shake hands on the field in the men’s lacrosse game earlier this month. Photo courtesy of Beacon Athletics
Men’s lacrosse steamrolls Mass Maritime Buccaneers
2-2 for the week, baseball falls in LEC standings
Players gather on the field at a men’s lacrosse game. File photo.
Men’s lacrosse turns heads with a dominant rebound
A softball player hits the ball at home plate in their game last week.
Softball head coach Natalia Ardagna wins 300th game
Women’s softball huddles up in a time out.
Women’s softball breaks record 15-game streak
A Philadelphia Eagles quarterback faces down a Washington Commanders player. The Eagles are known for using the “tush push” play. Photo via Flickr is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Why would the NFL ban the ‘tush push?’
Celtics strut through Magic, Knicks up next
Drake Maye and the Patriots showing signs of growth
Everything you need to know for Super Bowl LVIII
Illustration of Bruins’ right winger Trent Frederic. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.
Don’t poke the bear: Bruins fans have nothing to worry about
Guard Emanuel Zayas dribbles the ball on the court. Photo by Dong Woo Im / Mass Media Staff.
Men’s basketball drowns Rhode Island College
UMass Boston junior sprinter Dorinda Okorji wins Second LEC Track Athlete of the Week / Photo and graphic courtesy of Beacons Athletics.
Track and field keeps showing promise with spike in performance
Forward Keriann Farina shoots the ball against Rhode Island College at a home game last semester.
Women’s basketball losing streak extends to four in a row
Men’s hockey players huddle during a home game. Photo courtesy of Beacon Athletics.
Men’s hockey picks themselves up after minor slip on ice
Forward Katie Wilbert shoots the puck against Salem State University at a home game on Jan. 26. Photo by Dong Woo Im / Mass Media Staff.
Leah Bosch leads women’s hockey to sixth straight victory
Students sprawl on the Campus Center lawn to soak up the spring sun.
Finding joy together in the warmer weather
The Student Immigrant Alliance and Immigrant Student Program office serves as a resource to the immigrant student population during the current time of political strife.
Are US citizens next to be at risk of deportation?
A Philadelphia Eagles quarterback faces down a Washington Commanders player. The Eagles are known for using the “tush push” play. Photo via Flickr is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Why would the NFL ban the ‘tush push?’
Sep 24, 2024; Toronto, Ontario, CAN; Boston Red Sox left fielder Jarren Duran (16) celebrates with teammates in the dugout after scoring a run against the Toronto Blue Jays in the tenth inning at Rogers Centre. Mandatory Credit: Dan Hamilton-Imagn Images/ File Photo
Famous athletes struggle with their mental health, too
UMass Amherst students set up an encampment to protest the UMass administration’s ties to Israel. File photo.
We need student activism now more than ever
UMass Boston raised tuition by 2.5 percent in the 2024-2025 school year.
A look into the rising cost of college education
The fight to value life and the fight for living wages
Students enjoying the Quad, which was completed earlier this year.
The need for sustainable urbanism at UMass Boston
Open letter to administration regarding Oct. 8 vigil
Posters and infographics from UMass Boston’s Students for Justice in Palestine’s Memorial for Martys of Gaza event.
Navigating between two worlds: How UMass Boston can support students from war-torn countries
Feb 12, 2025; Boston, Massachusetts, USA; Boston Celtics forward Jayson Tatum (0) attempts a free throw against the San Antonio Spurs during the third quarter at the TD Garden. Credit: Brian Fluharty-Imagn Images
It’s time to give Jayson Tatum his due credit
Celtics spread joy with visit to Boston Children’s Hospital
Students gather at Emerson College’s encampment for Palestine on Thursday, Photo submitted by Elijah Horwath / Mass Media Staff.
Universities are violently repressing free speech—what’s new?
Students boarding the shuttle bus at the Campus Center. Photo by Saichand Chowdary / Mass Media Staff.
Why finding an affordable apartment feels like chasing a unicorn
Students sit outside the Campus Center over the summer. Photo by Olivia Reid / Photography Editor.
UMass’ economic contributions: More than just numbers
The seal of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security in Del Rio, Texas. The DHS, alongside Immigration and Customs Enforcement, has deported dozens of immigrants in the past few weeks. REUTERS/Marco Bello
How is anyone ‘alien’ in a ‘nation of immigrants?’
The importance of student activism in an increasingly oppressive world
On power: An appeal to the reformers
On power: What is to be done now?
An American Flag on the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, Aug. 31, 2023.
How to wage real American war
On power: An appeal to the reformers
Dear UMass Boston Administration
On power: What is to be done now?
A vigil last fall semester was ordered to disband by university administrators for lack of advance notice.
What does it mean to be “For the Times” in times like these?
Are professional coaches really hired to get fired?
Letter to the Editor: Climate change denial threatens America’s security
Letter to the Editor: Respect pro-Palestinian protestors
Letter to the Editor: Israeli Apartheid Week
Letter to the Editor regarding Israel and Palestine
Letter to the Editor
Bobby’s Summer Vacation
Ask Bobby #43: Guts and all
Ask Bobby #43: Guts and all
Ask Bobby #41: Remember last Valentine's?
Ask Bobby #41: Remember last Valentine’s?
Ask Bobby #40: Skincare
Ask Bobby #40: Skincare
A “Big A— Fan” is placed by the residence halls to combat coastal wind by blowing it straight back to the ocean. Dakota Brown for The Mass Media
University fights back against wind on campus
Vol. LIX, No. 16
Vol. LIX, No. 16
Vol. LIX, No. 15
Vol. LIX, No. 15
Vol. LIX, No. 14
Vol. LIX, No. 14
Vol. LIX, No. 13
Vol. LIX, No. 13
Vol. LIX, No. 12
Vol. LIX, No. 12
UMass Boston's independent student newspaper

The Mass Media
UMass Boston's independent student newspaper

The Mass Media

Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor

All content by Joe DiPersio
After a horrific accident, Joe DiPersio has resigned from The Mass Media. Get well soon and best wishes! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

Due to a terrible accident, I hereby resign from my post

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
Bobby Beacon poses in his final form. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

A final interview with Bobby Beacon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #37: What’s your favorite member of the deer family?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
A courtroom sketch of Bobby as a witness berates him. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The People vs. Bobby Beacon: A historic trial comes to an end

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
A recent graduate does the worm on the sidewalk. Get squirmin’! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Five steps to ensuring post-graduation happiness

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #36: Sick roommates

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
Bobby the Beacon is yelled at in court by a lawyer. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The People vs. Bobby Beacon: Lighthouse accused of foul play

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
A proud UMass Boston alum reads his rather controversial collection of books. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

UMass Boston alum finds success with controversial children’s book series

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #35: Do you ever yearn?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #34: Fugitive Upstairs

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
The Burger King and Pastafarians show their support for the newly minted Spaghetti Yeti on the Quad. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Burger King stands in solidarity with Pastafarians

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
The butler Jeeves runs down the hallways of Phillis Wheatley Hall covered in blood. Illustration Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Secrets behind University’s philanthropy dinner revealed

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
All hail Clump, the noodle messiah born of the Virgin Marcelo. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The Virgin Marcelo immaculately conceives noodle messiah

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Lying about a dead family member to get out of class is so old fashioned. Be like Mitch and try faking a terminal illness instead! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Student fakes terminal illness to dodge calculus exam

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #33: Spray-On Pants

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Interim Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco struggles in a pile of spaghetti in his dream. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Spaghetti coming out of your ass? Pastamonium serves up terror to both students and faculty

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024
Next week’s partial eclipse is out to get you. Illustratation by Olivia Reid / Photography Editor.

The end is nigh! Partial eclipse heralds Armageddon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #32: Friends with The Cat in the Hat?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024

Comic: Gringlehook Vol. 6

By Joe DiPersio and Bianca Oppedisano
April 1, 2024

Comic: Pape

By Joe DiPersio, Bianca Oppedisano
March 27, 2024
Hungover Business Bobby gets interviewed by a hiring manager. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

A Beacon’s guide to writing an idiot’s resume

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 25, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #31: What are you wearing?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 25, 2024

Comic: Gringlehook Vol. 5

By Joe DiPersio, Bianca Oppedisano
March 21, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #30: Do you have a rival mascot?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
A hipster goes retro and buys graded exams off of a suspicious man to cheat in class. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Hipster students turn to retro-cheating

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
A UMass Boston alum jumps in excitement, annoying hockey fans around him. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Seeing through blue-tinted glasses: Alumnus suffers from ‘Beacon Blues’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
Dogcelo sticks his tongue out awaiting pets. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Dogcelo provides therapy to students

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
A chimp stares into a mirror and sees a reflection of Waldo. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chimpanzee has world asking: ‘Where’s Waldo?’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #29: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.

Bobby’s Inside Story

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Politician Mario Rossellini gets hit in the head by a coconut while delivering a speech. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Pizza party politician assassinated by coconut on campaign trail

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #28: Praying at night?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Mr. Woe Humpback lectures to his classroom full of students. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Anthropomorphic whale hired to teach university’s daycare

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024

‘Frindle’ has been banned in 35 states. Is Massachusetts next?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #27: Matching Brazilian butt lifts?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024
Lonely Man rips one of his shirts open. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Loneliness: The ultimate superpower

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Dr. Amore lays on the floor surrounded by beer cans and bottles wearing a VR headset. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Dr. Michael Amore missing after ‘Ross Water’ scandal

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #26: Will you be my Valentine?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco with his pants down around his ankles wearing lighthouse boxers. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chancellor caught with his pants down

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024

Whoopsie daisy! Student has blood replaced with hot sauce

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #25: How’s your semester going?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024
God sits in a bubble in the middle of a galaxy in front of multiple monitors. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Flickering Beacon exposed! God up to his old tricks

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Students walk through the new quad while decayed hands and heads stick out of the ground. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Why did Johnny Depp bury corpses on the new Quad?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #24: Why are you here?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #23: What do you think of Gringlehook?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
A Scentology professor holds a bottle of cologne. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

UMass Boston announces new Scentology department

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
Bobby and Comfort K-9 Beacon have it out on a comedy stage. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Bobby Beacon ‘craps out’ at comedy show

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco dresses as Santa and flies a sleigh. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The chancellor saves Christmas

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
Bobby the Beacon and Bool stand next to each other, astonished by the test results. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Paternity test bombshell: Bobby Beacon’s not the father!

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #22: Tips for finals

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
An obituary for Santa Claus. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Festive father of Christmas, Santa Claus, dies aged 1,242

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
A poster of four penguins called the “Teenage Mutant Brother Friends.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Bummer, dude! ‘Teenage Mutant Brother Friends’ charged with assault

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #21: Existential Seagulls

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco yells into his phone. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chancellor canceled: ‘Heck! I don’t believe in Santa!’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
A poster for “Rat-HatcRoonie: The Movie.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

‘Rat-Hat Roonie: The Movie’ puts the rat back in the hat of Boston’s film scene

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #20: How was your Thanksgiving?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
A city scape with a giant Beantown sign and a massive neon number 2 above it. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Step aside Hollywood 2: The unnecessary, mandatory, under-performing sequel

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #19: You doing okay?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
President Joe Biden shakes hands with Astronaut Bean. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Unearthed beans warn of impending annihilation

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #18: Ideal first dates

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
A plastic gas can tips over on the floor of Phillis Wheatley Hall. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Gas leak in Wheatley Hall causes mass hallucinations

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
A group of writers hide from drones in a forest. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Goodbye cruel world: Adjusting to our AI overlords

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #17: Tapping into Wheatley’s power

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
Bobby B. Beacon points. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Invasion of the Bobby snatchers

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
Pumpkins McGee stands in Phillis Wheatley Hall as students flee. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: An interview with Pumpkins McGee

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
A cloaked man writes a building schematic for Phillis Wheatley Hall. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The phantom architect

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 23, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #16: The meaning of life

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 23, 2023
A lost student walks down the halls of Wheatley, confused. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The labyrinth of doom

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
A group of monsters gather around a karaoke machine, passionately singing. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Go bump in the night with the UMass Boston Bumpers Club

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #15: Family matters (again)

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
A scared janitor runs from a ghost through the halls of Wheatley. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The jinxed janitor

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
Zomboss Joe DiPersio takes on a fight. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Pumping iron for the zombie apocalypse

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #14: Advice with the Arts Editor

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
A mushroom grows by the dank stairwell. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Top five best places to grow mushrooms on campus

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
An excited couple stands in a dumpster surrounded by various treasures and trash. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

A beginner’s guide to dumpster dating

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #13: Beez Neez

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
A man yells at someone through a megaphone. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

In support of swear censorship

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #12: Getting grades up

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
A group of students cook hotdogs in a Motley Hall East communal bathroom. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Students convert dormitory bathroom into communal hotdog kitchen

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
Beanus crucified on the cross. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.

John F. Kennedy Library to be replaced by The Boston Bean Museum

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Bobby the Beacon officiates a wedding between student Persephone Thorneside and her professor. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

UMass Boston professor proposes to student mid-lecture

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #11: Human nature

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #10: Morning routine

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
Students test out the new sleeper pods at their own risk. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Are the University’s proposed ‘sleeper pods’ a good idea?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
A recreation of the ancient Beanosaur, which inspired Boston’s nickname: Beantown. Illustration by Eva Lycette / Mass Media Staff

The origin behind Boston’s legume-inspired nickname: The Beanosaur

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
A student dresses like Steve Jobs, notorious college dropout, and stands barefoot in a toilet, holding an apple with a bite taken out of it in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

So you want to be a billionaire? Hint: Drop out of college

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 5, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #9: What did you do this summer?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 5, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #8: Family matters

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 28, 2023
Bobby Beacon sulks on the rooftop, looking down into the void of the city. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Bobby’s breakup: A fresh start for an old beacon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 28, 2023
A poster parody of Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas titled “Joe and Kyle Endgame.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: Endgame

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 28, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #7: Skunks

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 21, 2023
UMass Boston Chancellor, Marcelo Suárez-Orozco, holds a bucket of Beacon Bucks and stands in the Campus Center filled with slot machines. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Beacon Buck casino night has ties to the mob

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 21, 2023
A superhero comic poster titled “Joe and Kyle: The Reactors Assemble.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: The Reactors assemble

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 21, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #6: Nicknames

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 14, 2023
A tombstone with a banana in front of it for Maxwell Garmon. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff. 

Failure! Baboon butt recipient dies tragically

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 14, 2023
A movie poster of T.N Turner, Joe DiPersio, and Kyle Makkas titled “Joe & Kyle: Mysteries of the Dirty Depths”.. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: Mysteries of the dirty depths

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 14, 2023
A student reveals he is a cyborg. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Are you a robot?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #5: Bobby’s bodies

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Lola the baboon does stand-up comedy for a bunch of fellow baboons. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Success! Human-baboon butt transplant achieved

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #4: Shoe sizes

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 31, 2023
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