Q: What do you do when your upstairs neighbor is a fugitive?
A: Look, the last thing you ever want to be is a rat. Unless it’s an actual rat. If you have the opportunity to be turned into an actual rat, take it from me, don’t pass it up. Anyway, if you’ve got a fugitive in the attic, I’d say passive blackmail is the way to go. “Now what is this, Bobby?” You may be wondering. Well, essentially, they need to be on your good side so the chances of you growing suspicious of them are reduced, right? However, if they know that you know they’re hiding from the law, they’re gonna cut you up into fish food. You gotta stay in that sweet spot. The Goldilocks zone of them being cool to you cause they don’t know you know when in actuality… you know. Milk that s— for as long as you can. I’ve met some of the best friends I’ve ever had using this approach. And in the event that they do discover you know who they are, just remind them who YOU are. If you’re me, that is. If not then you better get the f— out of there!