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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Ask Bobby #27: Matching Brazilian butt lifts?

Written+by+Joe+DiPersio+%28He%2FHim%29+and+illustrated+by+Bianca+Oppedisano+%28She%2FHer%29+%2F+Mass+Media+Staff
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Q: Do you wanna get matching Brazilian butt lifts? Neither of us need it, but surgery is so fun and exciting when it’s on your dime. 

A: My dime? MY DIME? How many dimes do you think I got? Do you think I’m made of dimes? Do I look like the f—ing dime man over here dime-ing around town in my dime-mobile? And butt lifts? You really wanna get a matching butt lift with me? Let me ask you this, do have even have the faintest idea what a Beacon’s butt looks like? No? Well, let me enlighten you. You don’t see it, and there’s a reason for that. I have five cheeks, arranged in the shape of a pentagram with the anus in the middle. That’s where the devil lives. To get a matching Brazilian butt lift with me would be like turning your butthole into Satan’s bedroom. 

About the Contributor
Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor