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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

Ask Bobby #22: Tips for finals

Q: Do you have any tips for finals?

A: It’s been a while since I’ve been a student, but if I learned anything in my seven years as a philosophy major, it’s that the most effective method of cramming for an exam is to tattoo the answers to your eyelids. You may be thinking, geez, Bobby, eyelids have such a small surface area, how much information could you possibly fit on an eyelid? Well, with a quantum laser, more than you think. Over the years I’ve embedded over seventeen terabytes of data behind my ocular balls. I think by now, I’ve got more info in my eyes than I do in my brain. However, if you’ve got a professor who makes their students tape their eyelids open, you might think the jig is up. In this case, all you’ve gotta do is tattoo a realistic eye on top of your eyelid. You might look like a snake, but that’s a small price to pay for academic success. 

About the Contributor
Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor