Is it really important for Gen Z to appreciate 1970s aesthetics? Are tacky wallpaper and a tendency to make everything orange obsolete for a reason?
Maybe. But don’t cheek your elders. Whatever you might think about the ‘70s, people certainly found ways of having fun then. I can’t explore every fun-time avenue because I only have so much space, and some 70’s-era fun activities aren’t strictly legal. But there’s something to be said for opening a bar that plays muted episodes of the original “Battlestar Galactica” series inside a depiction of a ‘70s TV on a regular TV. There’s something about the color orange that is loud and obnoxious. Maybe loud and obnoxious has its place — especially on a night when you have time to drink.
Don’t you want to be sung a Lilac Lullaby, whatever that is? At Retro Room, it’s a drink, but doesn’t Lilac Lullaby sound cute and sexual at the same time? Doesn’t that make it an almost ideal drink name? Unfortunately, Devil Wears Milagro and My Heart Is In Havana aren’t quite as good; despite the presence of pinot noir in the former and Prosecco in the latter, the overall taste is oddly bland.
Don’t you want a couch in your bar? Seriously, isn’t that a substantial improvement over a barstool? And is the presence of lava lamps really a crime?
If you’re reading this online, take a look at my bio picture. Now take a look at the articles I’ve written about booze and weed. Would I lie to you about how to have a good time?
Yes, the ‘70s are 50 years in the rearview mirror. But think about the relative strengths of that era: rock and roll all over the charts, provocative movies, increased environmental legislation and, of course, the first five — and arguably the best — seasons of SNL.
Of course it’s better now. Of course we were right to retire urban renewal, Richard Nixon and the Vietnam War, but not everything boomer-related sucks. Sometimes the music is great and, even when it’s not, it seems to unabashedly revel in its own pomp — in a much more interesting way than, say, Nicki Minaj. Is Nicki Minaj still relevant? I don’t know. Chances are the people who run Retro Room don’t know either and that’s probably a good thing. God knows the bar is better off with Fleetwood Mac and huge old issues of Life magazine. Remember Life magazine? I don’t either.
The only real disappointment is at the end when they started playing Kanye West after having previously played Metallica. ‘80s heavy metal is stretching the definition of ‘70s music substantially. “College Dropout”-era Kanye isn’t particularly retro — certainly not compared to the ‘70s. Retro Room is at its worst when it diverges not just from the ‘70s, but from the 20th century entirely.
At least “Battlestar Galactica” is still on. I’m not much of a science fiction fan, but this show gets better with alcohol, even when it’s muted and the music is most definitely not from the ‘70s anymore. The clientele past eight o’ clock is largely under 40 — i.e., the number of people in the late crowd who remember the ‘70s is alarmingly slim.
Maybe a truly ‘70s bar is too much to ask for now, but even the most brief commitment to it is refreshing. Stay orange, Retro Room.
